Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

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1446 USERS: C+
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Ally and Victor Bite the Dust

Dame Edna barges into Richard's office. She's concerned. He hasn't seemed like himself. He's been...working the past few days. Has he been trying to distract himself? From his unwavering, undeniable sexual attraction to none other than Dame Edna? No. Not in the least. Richard has been trying to distract himself from his sexual attraction to Miss Bump who, like everyone on the boards has said, is just like Ling. Maybe even a little hotter and "nastier," and Ling was "amazing." Dame Edna gets a violent attack of acid reflux. God, that is gross. Richard says Liza "is an itty-bitty sexual package" he wants to "unwrap." Dame Edna is bereft. The music, amused. I'm nowhere in between.

New Guy Wilson walks into his office, and there's the guy he got to hand over $225,000 last week in the wife-sues-husband- for-sexual-advances-case. He's now hiring the New Guy. As if. He "sort of" taped himself having sex with his girlfriend, and now she's threatening to show the tape to his co-workers. Since he's "a vice-president," this "could really hurt" him. Wow, yeah. Except if he worked in advertising. Then, he'd make tons of cash. Or, you know, was in the entertainment industry. Or, was Tommy Lee. Or Pamela Anderson. Or, Bret Michaels. Wilson looks out the window as the President of Vice says he "makes some strange noises" on the sex tape he "wasn't aware of." Hey, Wilson? We can't see your face if you look out of the window. Just saying. The girlfriend is asking for $25,000 not to show the tape. So, can Wilson help with the sleazy blackmail case? Sure, he'd love to.

More Boston by air, woo. We land at JBJ's garret, which has lots of light, exposed brick walls, nice chairs for reclining in, and millions of paintings and painting accessories all over the place. JBJ, secret painter, is not smoking or wearing a beret.

Ally McBeal

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