I'm a big fan of the new Lever 2000 body wash commercial. Big fan.
We see a shot of a phallic building, so I know we're about to see the Bleach Boy. "Me? How can I talk her out of it?" Richard and Billy are in the Unisex. Richard says that since Billy's known Ally the longest, he might be able to convince her not to sing. He tells Billy that Ally plans on singing something "sexy." "Yeah, right," Billy scoffs, because he wouldn't have been attracted to her or had sex with her if she was even slightly capable of being sexy. "I'm not kidding. Elaine has her convinced. Can you imagine? Next we'll have Mary Tyler Moore doing porn." Cue the flush. Ally walks from behind stall number two with a set of kitchen knives. Oh, those are her arms. "You don't think I can be sexy, Richard?" I don't know why she isn't asking Billy, her ex-boyfriend. Richard stammers that he isn't worried that she can be sexy, but rather that after seeing her in that state he'd be unable to ever fantasize about someone else. Ally says that she can be sexy. She looks at Billy, who gives a guilty chuckle. Ally looks around and pouts and huffs like she's forgotten to pull up her pants as the Poor Awkward Ally oboe kicks in.
Mary Tyler Moore calls me up and says that she doesn't know how they found out about Mary Tyler -- More! but that her attorneys are working on it.
Nelle and Ling are changing the baby's diaper. There are suddenly fifty things surrounding this baby, so Elaine obviously buys things very quickly. Nelle and Ling are cooing over the child. Nelle says that Ling needs to put more powder on Elliot before closing up his diaper, but Ling says that he's fine. Nelle brings up diaper rash, but Ling insists that she's capable of determining the amount of powder needed on the baby. She starts baby-talking to the kid, and a stream of "urine" hits her in the face. More correctly, it shoots a steady stream right into her mouth. (And you thought last week's Vomiting Santa on ER was bad!) Ling shakes her head and wipes her mouth with a cloth instead of screaming and running for the sink as any other human would have done. Nelle laughs and says that he wanted more powder. "It's acidic! It's burning my skin!" Ling yells. Nelle leans into Elliot and says, "We tried to tell her more powder --" and the baby pees right on Nelle. Nelle screams and looks outraged as Ling now begins to laugh. Now if these two ladies would just take off their tops, we might have a spread good enough for Hustler. Nelle wipes off her mouth and asks if he got her hair. I can hear the stylist in the back yell to Portia, "No, push your head lower, Portia, baby! They can't see my creation this week! You are not an actress, you're a talking head that carries my art!"