Ally McBeal
Boy Next Door

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 2 USERS: A-
Boy Next Door

Ally asks if Religious McBadhusband only married Angela for her physical traits. He says that he didn't, but a person who lies about a physicality, "a person who's not content to live in the body that God gave her, that speaks about a person." Ally offers that it speaks about a person's vanity -- that if you marry someone for better or worse, it shouldn't matter if she's vain. Religious McBadhusband says that it speaks to more than that, and that he can tell that Ally's "had a little work done." Ally freaks out and says she has not had any work done. She wants that remark removed from the record. Then she wants it back in. Good job. Defend the person who's had the work done and then make it sound like having work done is a terrible thing. How much does Ally make per year? Because I might be able to try her cases from home.

Ally is now in the doctor's office with Billy and Georgia and is still going on about Religious McBadhusband having said she had work done. She's asking them to tell her whether she looks like she's had work done. Ally. Brain tumor. Big Life Decisions. Please try to stay on task and not be such a selfish bitch. I know it's hard for you. Ally pouts and plops herself into one of the chairs, and she looks like Lily Tomlin about to say, "And that's the truth," and then give a little raspberry. The doctor comes in and brings a nurse to help him with his English. The tumor is benign, but it is near his left temporal lobe, which is difficult to operate. The doctor says he'd rather shrink it than do surgery. The nurse says they'd like to bring in Billy for MRIs over the next few days to see how it's growing. Billy nods. "And also while I have you," the nurse continues, "I'd like to give you a little oral sex." Billy looks up. Mischievous music. "Are you okay?" the nurse asks. Ally looks at Billy to see if he's okay. Georgia looks at Ally, to figure out what that scrawny woman has done to her ex-husband this time. The oboe looks at me for an answer. I don't know why this is happening, so we go to a commercial.

There is a preview of this week's Get Real and Mitch looks just too happy about holding his daughter in an embrace. Man, that show is getting creepy.

John is on his cell phone talking to Richard who is standing at John's feet, but has his back turned to him. He's explaining that they have to go through security measures to make sure the cables don't break in the elevator and cut John in half. Ling interrupts to say that she has a meeting scheduled at two. "Is that thing going to be working?" Richard asks if she could show some compassion. "For me?" Ling asks, confused. Nelle asks how John is doing. Richard says he's surly. Nelle takes the phone away from him and says to John, "Hi." "Nice of you to drop by, Nelle, and show your concern," John says. Nelle says she knows it's not the best time but she thinks that they aren't working out and that they should start seeing other people. There is a moment of silence on the other line while Nelle calls his name. Then we hear a nose whistle. She explains "nose whistle" offhandedly to Ling and the shocked Richard. "You're breaking up with me?" John asks. "Yes," Nelle says, as if she's already incredibly busy. John asks if they could discuss it. Nelle says that she's already made up her mind: "No need to leave you dangling, pardon the pun!" John Porky Pigs as Nelle explains that she "adores" him, but that it's not right for the two of them and that they'll talk more when he gets out. Richard is amazed. Ling seems proud.

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Ally McBeal




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