Fred Willard is playing the role of the (kooky, of course) therapist. He flakily begins with a presentation of the baseball glove. He asks Richard to speak first, saying, "If you don't mind, I would like to close my eyes and let your words wash over me." John bitches that Richard always gets to go first, and that that's wrong because Richard's center is sex and money. Fred Willard commends John on his candor and communication skills. John asks why the therapist didn't close his eyes for John's words. He and Richard argue and call each other names. It ends with John's telling the therapist, "Balls with the kudos, you hack." The therapist indicates that John's behavior is unacceptable. Why can't the therapists act like Ally and punch people? I wouldn't mind seeing Fred Willard punch John Cage.
In the Unisex, Mark scopes out his own ass in the mirror. Of course Ally busts him as he's doing so. He explains that he used to do a lot of squats in college, but now he worries that his ass doesn't look as good as it used to. This devolves into complaints about Elaine's lust for Jackson. Mark doesn't think women should lust, much less in public. He dumped Elaine for being unladylike, he says. I can't tell if we're supposed to be thinking of Cindy's penis or not right now.
Renee does her closing. Jackson does his, too. The scenes go back and forth between them, as if they're both making such good, contradictory points. Renee argues that Ms. Albright is discriminating based on gender and that not all men are sex-crazed jerks. Jackson argues that they are, and that there's nothing wrong with single-sex companies. I imagine that David E. Kelley agrees with this, and that's why his characters can't seem to function in a co-ed law firm.
Ally calls Elaine into her office for a meeting with Mark. Elaine is wearing a halter top and sparkles. Mark says he doesn't want to break up with Elaine, but that her sweating over Jackson is insulting to him. He says that being flamboyantly sexual is one thing, but that overtly showing interest in other men is another. It's disrespectful. Mark doesn't do that to Elaine, and he doesn't want her doing it to him. I can see his point. That doesn't excuse his stupid "women shouldn't lust" opinion, though. Women lust. I mean, they don't lust enough for television producers to show male actors in shirts slit to the waist, apparently, but still -- they lust.
Back in the therapist's office, Richard opines that John's rejection by Melanie is what's behind his recent cranky behavior. "Mozambique," cuts in John. He explains to the therapist that Richard's father expressed affection with that word. "Mamboquette! Not Mozambique!" Richard emotionally corrects him. This time the captioning spells it "Mambo Cat," but it sounds like Richard's saying "Mamboquette." He explains that he and his father both loved Bill Mamboquette, pitcher for the Red Sox. Richard says that John's making him the fall guy for his problems with Melanie. "This is lonely John in all his ugliness," he says. Heh. John argues that Richard was using the glove to forge false intimacy with Ling in a game of catch, because he's jealous of her and Jackson. They argue, and Richard calls John a little runt. "Hey! He just called me a runt! I demand to be mollified!" John yells. I have to admit that I almost cracked a smile at his delivery of this line. Fred Willard stands up, towering over the two lawyers, and asks if they're both lonely. If any of them take off their clothes, I'm leaving the room.