Street. Piano. Fish walks up the stairs to a mulling Ling. He asks his "little Rolaid" what's wrong. She asks if he's ever thought about kissing another man. He executes a quadruple spit take with his coffee because he's gay. Gay, gay, gay. He says that it's not funny. Because he's gay. And I don't care if in real life he's married with a kid. The man is gay. Ling comments that it disgusts him. "Of course it disgusts me," he says while wiping up the spill he just made from his coffee with his handkerchief just like any hetero man on the earth would do. Fish follows it up with the Seinfeldian "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." He says it would be totally disgusting to kiss one. He picks up his cappuccino with his pinkie extended, peers into it and says he can no longer look at the foam. He begins spooning out the foam while Ling worries that there's something wrong with her because she had a dream about two women kissing. He tells her that's fine, nothing wrong with that, and that he has those dreams all the time.
This begins the time-old discussion about why it's okay for a woman to kiss another woman, but not for a man to kiss another man. Fish begins this explanation, which seems to be just another FCC triumph for David E. Kelley: "Well, uh, in strict anthropological terms, mankind is all about the propagation of the species. Without procreation, uh, mankind would become extinct. To facilitate procreation the male species must become aroused. Watching two women take their tongues to each other arouses the male species which fosters the urge to procreate and accordingly insures the survival, uh, of the human race. To the contrary, watching two butt-pirates go at it could, uh, make a man go limp for a week. The species becomes threatened." Ling says she considers herself "pretty homophobic" but what he just said was "disgusting." He says she should blame him for anthropology. She says she's worried about dreaming lesbian thoughts and then acting on them. He says if she did he'd be there for her, watching, touching himself. She slaps him and says if she "turns gay" it'll be his loss. He tells her that she's never found her to be ambiguous about her sexuality. "Ambidextrous, maybe." She slaps him a few more times and his gay spoon flops around as he giggles about the whole thing because he's a gay man. Ling stomps off.