Ling stops Ally and tells her she made dinner reservations for them. Ally stumble-stutters and LTR's for thirty seconds to say "Great." She LTL's and says, "I wouldn't kiss it -- MISS it." Richard walks over and calls Ling "Pringle" and she ices him off and walks away. He asks Ally what's going on and Ally has a freak-out because how should she know, she's not gay. John grabs Richard and tells him he's got a bit of an emergency. He tells Richard about the spanking. They wear big ties. Richard tells him to sit down with Nelle and spank her. John says it isn't funny. It's violent and he's not sexually adventurous. Richard tells him not to be so selfish, that he should be thinking about Nelle here. Maybe it's a cry for help, that she feels like a victim, needs some counselling. He tells John to sit down with Nelle and "spank her." John is about to give up when Richard confesses that Ling has been having "gay erotic dreams." They realize that they are not pleasing their women in bed. They pout and shake their heads in unison.
Get ready for the "most erotic Ally McBeal."
Night skyline. Sexy lesbian music. Ally is fingering her olives. She's wearing (I'm not kidding) an orange and pink striped fringy parka thing over a white tank top. Ling sips her martini. They look uncomfortably at each other. Ally babbles how her meal was excellent and she loves it when she goes out for food and it's excellent and isn't everything just excellent? She drums her fingers on the table until Ling reaches across the table and snatches Ally's hand. She confesses that the woman she was kissing in the dream was Ally. Ally's hand is moving Ling's up and down until Ling takes both hands with her other hand. Ling wears a dress with one sleeve, so when the other hand comes down it looks like three women's hands. Girl-on-girl-on-girl action, baby. Woo-hoo. Ally mutters, coughs, gasps and sighs. Ling tells her that she's always confronted her dreams to find out what they mean and now that she's sitting there looking at Ally -- her face gets a little nauseous as she says, "Letting my mind wander a little..." She reconfirmed that what she wants out of a relationship is a penis. "Oh, me too," Ally sighs. They resolve to go back to disliking each other. Ling notices a hockey team staring at them from "three o'clock." I want to tell Ling that we refer to that area as "LTL." I don't know how she knows it's a hockey team, since they are dressed in the latest Structure styles, but I'm willing to believe her. Ally and Ling decide to have "a little fun." Come on, you saw the previews, you know what's about to happen. They decide to pretend to be "two beautiful women...into each other." Ally is going to have to pretend more than Ling. Cue "Pretty Woman" on the disco speakers.