Hey, a Get Real promo. In case you can't get enough eye-rolling.
John and Richard are looking at a spanking website. They are fascinated by the statistics of women who want secretly to be spanked. Stress on "secretly." They don't want to confront it, they just want it to happen. The surprise is part of the fantasy. They read a section about women brushing their hair in bed and leaving the hairbrush on the nightstand for a chance their lover would use it on them. John realizes that Nelle leaves her hairbrush on the nightstand all the time. He starts to worry because he just got his sexual steam back. They watch a quicktime spanking video.
Reel back from the Land of Foreshadowing to the Lame Sex plot where The Floozy is crossing her Naired legs and saying she doesn't proposition or date the men from work. She uses her sexuality for power. She gets things that she wouldn't normally get because she's not the sharpest tack in the supply closet. She's apparently had some Botox treatments because her Brown Sharpied eyebrows never move when she talks. Renee, on the other hand, has her eyebrows set on "vibrate." Dee Wallace Stone raises her eyebrows as if to say, "I had more fun when my son from Who's the Boss was dehydrating in the back of my car." The Floozy insists she'd never exploit her sexuality to victimize anybody. Cut to Billy giving Renee the talkin'-to. He's upset because their clients are linked and what she's doing with The Floozy hurts his client's chances of winning the case. They stop walking and stand on either side of a pillar representing the World's Largest Phallic Symbol. He tells her she should be ashamed of playing the "stupid sex-slut-power card like it's something to champion." He tells Renee her court strategy "has all the integrity of a lap dance." Renee wiggles back and forth like she has to pee and says, "Whaaat?" like she's Jackée. She tells Billy he doesn't like women being sexy. He doesn't like strong women and that's why he "ran from Ally." He knew she wouldn't listen to him tell her how to act and how to dress so he went out and found himself "a little Barbie doll wife." "Hey!" Billy screams as he lunges towards her. "Don't you ever attack my wife!" "I'll be happy to stick up for her," Renee counters. "How's this?" She puts on her best pre-puberty voice to say, "She's too good for you, you King Kong male chauvinist pig!" She tells him he's the worst kind as she pulls down her jacket/top and says he disguises himself as "pro-woman." He says his problem right now is his co-counsel strutting around her breasts "like they're two condos she's trying to sublet!" Some pig voice-overs squealing. Get it? "Some pig?" I kill me. Renee pulls down her jacket/top to pop out more cleavage like she's representing the Spice Girls.