Ally McBeal
Buried Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 3 USERS: A
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Buried Pleasures

Street shot, piano music takes us to the We Need Something Between These Lesbian Scenes Courtroom plot. Dee Wallace Stone is asking the first witness about the woman being sued. The witness says that the woman parades around like a slut and makes sexual advances and things. Dee Wallace Stone asks, "Can you give us an example?" and the woman lowers her eyelids to answer and for a moment looks just like Cujo and I wonder if Dee will flip out and try and hit the witness over the head with a two-by-four. The Cujo witness also has the LTR problem as she lists off the things the accused does: innuendos, teasings, her dress. The woman in question is wearing a blue L.A. Confidential type outfit. Billy asks her if the woman has ever made advances towards any of the women. No. Is she graphic in her sex talks? No. When she tries to fix the girls up with other men, do they accept? Sometimes. Enough with the court babble! Bring on the serious girl-on-girl action! Renee "Baby Talk, Baby Talk, It's a Wonder You Can Walk" Radick asks the witness what's so wrong with the way she dresses. Miss Uptight Witness tells her that she dresses to accentuate her sexuality, and that pretty much makes her a hussy. Renee pulls down her jacket/top so that four of the "Leprechauns" fall out and go back to their mini-series hell. She asks if what she's wearing puts out a sexual vibe. Billy gives her the "watch it, girlie," look and the judge looks down so she doesn't have to peer into the land of Nod. "Well, a little," the witness says. Renee babies that if she went into her office right now dressed that way she'd be guilty of sexual harassment. The witness says she would if she dressed that way every day and constantly made remarks about her libido and how much she likes sex. Renee asks what she would say if she told her that she hasn't had sex in so long she forgot how it goes. The witness says she'd have trouble believing her. You go, girl. The strings and the oboe play the "Wah, wah, wah, waaaa," noise.

Street. Piano. Fish walks up the stairs to a mulling Ling. He asks his "little Rolaid" what's wrong. She asks if he's ever thought about kissing another man. He executes a quadruple spit take with his coffee because he's gay. Gay, gay, gay. He says that it's not funny. Because he's gay. And I don't care if in real life he's married with a kid. The man is gay. Ling comments that it disgusts him. "Of course it disgusts me," he says while wiping up the spill he just made from his coffee with his handkerchief just like any hetero man on the earth would do. Fish follows it up with the Seinfeldian "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." He says it would be totally disgusting to kiss one. He picks up his cappuccino with his pinkie extended, peers into it and says he can no longer look at the foam. He begins spooning out the foam while Ling worries that there's something wrong with her because she had a dream about two women kissing. He tells her that's fine, nothing wrong with that, and that he has those dreams all the time.

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Ally McBeal

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