Ally McBeal
Buried Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 3 USERS: A
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Buried Pleasures

Street scene. Piano. Meanwhile in the Court of Sex (But the Girls Don't Want This Sex) plot the manager/boss guy is discussing his Catch-22: if he tells the floozy she can't wear what she wants to wear he gets sued by her. If he tells her she can wear what she wants he gets sued by the other ladies in his office. Poor guy. Must be hard. (Little pun.) (Oh, there's another.) Uptight Witness #2 says that "sex is in the air" when The Floozy is around. They ask her to explain and she tries but sums up with "sex is in the air," so I'll just restate her opinion as well. She compares the office to a singles bar. Renee asks UW#2 if she can dress to look her best every morning, why can't The Floozy? "I know the problem," she says. "Where do you draw the line?" Well, Renee draws her line from the center of her chest vertically to the base of her collarbone, but she doesn't tell Uptight Witness #2 that. At recess Billy tells The Floozy that when she takes the stand tomorrow it's important she doesn't come off as a sexual predator. "I won't," she sing-songs, and Renee's breasts walk over to Billy and then Renee enters the frame three seconds later. These things are screaming to be released from the push-up bra hell she's entangled them in. Can you hear the screaming of the boobs, Clarice? I can. Billy asks to steal Renee away for a second. She tries to point and gesture while talking to The Floozy, but her arm can only lift about three inches before it gets blocked by her mammaries, so she sort of arm flops in her direction. Billy tells Renee to tell The Floozy to tone down her dress and that Renee should probably do the same. "Excuse me?" Cindy Brady asks Greg. She LTRs to remember what her line was. Oh, yeah, "Don't you think that boo-goo-goo-gee-gah, gah, wooh...oh, Nay-Nay go boomie on floor!" Because Billy speaks goo, he knows that Renee just said that by changing her outfit The Floozy would be admitting she's, well, a floozy. He says that doesn't matter. They just need the jury on their side and as long as it looks like he's working with Vivian and Kit the jury isn't going to side with them. Renee gives him the crazy crooked eyebrow and they part without resolution. Renee gives the Mother of All Eye-Rolls.

Ling stops Ally and tells her she made dinner reservations for them. Ally stumble-stutters and LTR's for thirty seconds to say "Great." She LTL's and says, "I wouldn't kiss it -- MISS it." Richard walks over and calls Ling "Pringle" and she ices him off and walks away. He asks Ally what's going on and Ally has a freak-out because how should she know, she's not gay. John grabs Richard and tells him he's got a bit of an emergency. He tells Richard about the spanking. They wear big ties. Richard tells him to sit down with Nelle and spank her. John says it isn't funny. It's violent and he's not sexually adventurous. Richard tells him not to be so selfish, that he should be thinking about Nelle here. Maybe it's a cry for help, that she feels like a victim, needs some counselling. He tells John to sit down with Nelle and "spank her." John is about to give up when Richard confesses that Ling has been having "gay erotic dreams." They realize that they are not pleasing their women in bed. They pout and shake their heads in unison.

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Ally McBeal

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