Ally McBeal
Bygones

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 4 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Bygones

Ally steps back and surveys the crew. They're all so sad! I love how Liza and Wilson and Jenny and Glenn aren't there. Or Dame Edna, or Ling. I think Fish wins for best sad face. He's tilting his head, and wrinkling his forehead, is tearful and sniffly, and sighing open-mouthed. No holds barred, the winnah of the Hambone award! Renee comes in second, with her pouty-but-stoic sad lips and perpetual tears. Plus you know she has to hate all those guys. Billyghost stands next to John, smiling. Wipe that smirk off your face, dead man! Have a little respect. Hey, I'm dancing over here, but am I on camera? No. Ally starts to say a lot of things but then trails off. Look at them all...the last five years...she loves them all so...she'll....call. The piano plays some more. Ally starts to walk away, and then turns back to let them all have another reaction shot. John has his tie in his mouth, and gives a little wave. Ally stalks off in her last mini-skirt of the show ever, and voice-overs that, "looking backward," some of the "happiest times in [her] life have been the saddest. Yeah. This is going to be good. Why else would [she] be crying?" Why else, indeed. If I had tears right now, they'd be from joy, but I don't care enough about Ally to cry. Vonda gets her last "ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh" in, and we fade to black. The end!

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Ally McBeal

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