Second staff meeting of the day. Ally hasn't shown up, and John gripes about it. Ally finally walks in and says she has an announcement that she wanted everyone to hear. Nelle guesses Ally's "changing hair color." Ally says, "Nothing that important." But she is leaving the firm and resigning her position, effective immediately. Nelle says, "Ha ha." No, really. "Maddie's having emotional problems," so Ally is "taking her to New York so she can be closer to her friends." And her house is "on the market, if anyone's interested. And, that's it!" She marches out. Everyone is dumbfounded. Not me.
More Boston-by-air, whee, whoo. We land in the Uni, where Ally looks at herself in the mirror. She has a flashback, of herself looking into the bathroom mirror and whining to Billy that all she "ever wanted was to be rich...and have a husband waiting at home for [her] to rub [her] feet, and look...[she] doesn't even like [her] hair!" Wow, what a long way she hasn't come, baby. En flashback, Billy hugs her gently as she sobs and snuggles against him. Whizz, zing, we're back in the present. Dame Edna comes out of a stall, and asks if Ally's all right. Ally "mm hmms." Dame Edna says she can see that isn't the case. Because Dame Edna is highly sensitive -- she's Ally's emotional barometer, and therefore is also the emotional barometer of this show. Isn't that utterly pathetic? Elaine stomps into the Uni, and demands to know if that's how Ally really wanted to let out that bit of news, in a staff meeting. Ally asks if she should have called people in one by one. Elaine says Ally could have called her in -- Ally "owes [her] that." Well, Elaine is hurt. But everyone knows Ally doesn't owe anything to anyone. Most head cases don't. Ally is all, "Excuse me," and leaves the Uni. Forever. Dame Edna pats her hair, looking in the mirror. Reverend Buck walks in, is greeted by Dame Edna in her usual fashion ("Hellew!"), and collapses in a heap. Can we say goodbye to the Uni without crying? Goodbye, Uni.
Ally stalks through the office and totally blows off Richard's request for a conversation, hatefully saying, "NOT. NOW!" Elaine is all, "When, then?" Richard follows Ally into her office.
Richard says Ally's being rash. That she should give it some time. Ally yells that she hasn't got any time. That "Maddie is cracking up. She's falling apart! Her emotions are affecting her nervous system, she needs to go back to New York, and [Ally] need[s] [Richard] to accept it." Richard wonders about Ally's career. She points out that there are law firms in New York. And besides, maybe she'll come back. Richard says that her move must be "permanent" -- otherwise, why would she have resigned? He wants Ally at his wedding. She says she'll be back. "In three weeks?" he wonders. So, he "talked it over with Liza," and they'll move the wedding up. To tomorrow night. They'll "do the big church thing later." God, this is ridiculous. I've seen better acts at Circus Circus. Any Vegas lounge act is more pro than this. Ally insists that Fish doesn't have to move the wedding up -- that she'll be back. Richard asks, "What if Maddie's sick?" Ally, with tears on her cheeks for some reason, slowly says, "She's. Not. That. Sick." Richard says he wants Ally at his wedding, and that he and Liza will be "exchanging. Vowwws. Tomorrow." And if possible, Ally can come back for the church thing later. Or, be canceled and never come back ever again. Whichever.