Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 4 USERS: C+

Then Richard looks at Liza and says she's "just as afraid of it, just as outwardly dismissive of it, but inside, just as desperate for it." The Rev collapses, again. I think that's a little too TMI for a wedding vow, even, and not just that stuff about the condoms. I wouldn't want anyone talking about my insides to my assembled friends and family. But then, I couldn't decide which Jon Bon Jovi impersonator I wanted to marry me and my sweetie. Do we go with a modern, "short-haired Midnight in Chelsea" JBJ, or with a big-haired, acid-washed "She's a Little Runaway" JBJ? I'm not kidding; in Las Vegas, you can get married by a Jon Bon Jovi impersonator. You can get married by a Jewish Elvis. You can get married by a Jewish Hitler, even. Not a joke! Richard continues that one of the reasons he's getting married today was because there's "a risk" Ally may not be able to make it in June. Yes, because weddings are always about a guest from work. That's really what they turn on; it's what shapes that special day. Not your parents, not your kids, not what your partner wants, but the attendance or non-attendance of that crazy freak from the office. It's so true. Ally's the main character in everyone's life, you see. Fish says that John said that his marriage was "worthy of [Ally], and [Richard] agree[s]." He adds, "Ally's influence is what inspired me to do what I really feel." Ally tilts her head to the side. Richard concludes by saying that he loves Liza, and that he's "betting on how" he feels: "With this ring, I give you my heart." The Rev slumps, and then snaps to. Liza says that, with her ring, she gives Richard her heart. Faint, unfaint. What the TV gods have canceled, let no man ever resurrect. Not in reunion form, or on the Love Boat, or in a Cosby Mysteries. They are married. That is all.

The Bar. Vonda sings "Tell Him." Everyone dances. Ally sits at a table. Georgia sneaks up behind her and says, "Stranger." Ally gasps, and says with a straight, unpleased face, "Georgia!" Then she turns and hugs her. Georgia asks if Fish actually got married. Yes, an hour ago. And they're still married! Ha ha ha. Without actually really talking about anything, Georgia and Ally catch up and agree not to talk about Ally (even though she's leaving and is single and a parent now and the show is canceled and no one has seen Georgia in, like, two years), because it's Richard's night. Ha ha. They clink glasses and say "cheers." Didn't they make out once? This would be a great time to make out again. Ally sees John hanging out alone at the bar, and they have a bittersweet moment where they raise their glasses at each other. Fade to black.

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Ally McBeal




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