Ally, Reesa, and -- for some reason -- John are appealing to the minister, who turns out to be the guy from My Favorite Martian. At first Rev. Martian won't budge, but then he's won over by Reesa's humiliating confession. She says that her fiancé, Joe, is smart and handsome, but terrible in bed. He's a sexual bungler and he doesn't know how to touch a woman. Reesa just wanted one last chance to get it on with a man who'd make her "feel something" before she spent the rest of her life being faithful to Joel, the Mutha Who Ain't Havin' No Skillz. Plus, she's not just asking to save face; she's also asking her favorite minister to unite her with the Lame-Ass Lover she loves. Aww! So Rev. Martian says okay. Reesa jumps for joy, turns to Ally and says, "I know I've only known you for one day, but...."
...But here's Ally in a teal chiffon bridesmaid's dress, walking down the aisle. Hardy, har. She's rudely gesturing to guests not to photograph her. She grimaces and tugs at her gown like the mannerless egomaniac she is. She didn't even comb her hair for the occasion. She just impaled her head on a few rhinestoned bobby pins. Way to uglify a girl's big day, Ally! You go, you hopeless romantic, you! Richard and Ling are seated in one of the pews. Ling in her huge hat reads my mind and asks Richard why they're there. He says it's because Reesa is that daughter of an important client. Oh, okay. That's logical. Here comes Reesa down the aisle with her daddy. Her dress is really pretty. Ally's making one of her many spooky faces at the bride, and then she turns and sees the groom and it's -- guess who -- the guy from the car wash! Gasp! Ally doesn't just gasp, though. She screams. Of course she has to scream and act ridiculous and draw everyone's attention. Then, in that adorably befuddled way of hers, she explains that she had a tickle in her throat. Oh, that irrepressible Ally! That unsinkable Ally McBeal! Joel looks at her and rolls his eyes, right after I roll mine. Ally rolls hers and sighs.
Hey! There's a new search engine on the web that's exactly like all the others! Wow!
Reesa has made it to the altar. Ling's hat is in Richard's face. Joel looks at Ally and winks. Ally's mouth is transformed, through the magic of 3D Studio, into the mouth of a snarling dog. Her teeth look pretty white all of a sudden, too.













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