Ally McBeal
Car Wash

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Car Wash

Those Gap kids just can't get enough and they want everyone in leather. I don't believe them, though, because if they really wanted that, they'd make clothes in my size.

We're back from the commercial break and we see John follow Ally into her office to confide in her. He says that the week before, when he was in Detroit, he called Nelle and she wanted to have phone sex. "Phone...sex?" Ally says, all goofy-like. John says that he was unable to do it and that since then he and Nelle haven't been able to "achieve much of a rhythm." There's a bigger problem, too. John has been unable to access "him." "God?" says Ally, all clueless. "No, not God. Barry White," says John all dead serious. Ally wants to know how she can help. John says that her car wash encounter has him fraught. He wants to know if women are really, truly able to fantasize about sex with no emotional attachment. "Could this conversation and subsequent episode motif be any more contrived?" I wonder. Ally indicates that sex without a cuddly relationship can be good. John throws his hands in the air.

Renee and the Whipper are interviewing a man named Daniel. Renee tells him to take off his shirt. He's all, "What?" She tells him to take off his shirt so they can see his chest and stomach. He's like, "Is that legal?" The Whipper says that it's illegal to REQUIRE him to take off his shirt, but that they won't do that. Then she sits on the table and explains that a law practice is all about attracting clients. She and Renee will "provide eye candy" for the men. Renee pipes up in her baby voice that it would be unfair not to have anything for the women. Yeah, that makes sense. I can see a bunch of law school graduates falling for that. Daniel is nonplussed. I notice they're showing a lot of shots of Renee sans the top of her head. You can't blame them, really. I'm not saying she should Aqua-Net herself a wall of bangs, but anything would be better than the flat, Gomez Addams crown thing she's got going on now.

Ally, Reesa, and -- for some reason -- John are appealing to the minister, who turns out to be the guy from My Favorite Martian. At first Rev. Martian won't budge, but then he's won over by Reesa's humiliating confession. She says that her fiancé, Joe, is smart and handsome, but terrible in bed. He's a sexual bungler and he doesn't know how to touch a woman. Reesa just wanted one last chance to get it on with a man who'd make her "feel something" before she spent the rest of her life being faithful to Joel, the Mutha Who Ain't Havin' No Skillz. Plus, she's not just asking to save face; she's also asking her favorite minister to unite her with the Lame-Ass Lover she loves. Aww!

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Ally McBeal

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