Ally McBeal
Car Wash

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Car Wash

Reesa's doing her wedding vows again. Ally flashes back to the car wash aGAIN. She jumps up and asks if she can speak to Reesa. Everyone yells, "NO!" She drags Reesa to the back room, anyway. In a long, drawn-out dialogue filled with um's and stutters, Ally reveals to Reesa that Joel is an "incredible" lover. She says it enough times to totally rub Reesa's face in it. Then she says that he must be an experienced womanizer marrying Reesa for her money, and as Reesa's lawyer -- as her bridesmaid -- Ally just couldn't see her get hurt. Sad guitar music plays us into the close-up of Reesa's disillusioned face. She stumbles over her gown, then goes to tell everyone that the wedding is off. Then she cries and runs out as Richard and Ling crank on their cell phones.

Get ready for the dumbest part of the whole hour.

Joel walks up to Ally and says, "Who do you think you are?" Ally brilliantly replies, "I don't know. And I don't know who you are, but I certainly know that you're capable of fooling women." "I didn't owe you any honesty," puzzled Joel mutters. "No, I guess you didn't. But as for the woman in the white dress, you haven't really been honest with her, have you, Joel?" sage Ally retorts. "Whatever!" says weary Gwen.

The guests yell at Ally -- who is wrapped in a blue sheet or something -- some more as she follows Richard and Ling out to their car. Richard opens the front passenger door and Ally starts to get in, but Ling gets in ahead of her and Ally is so totally busted and sad. Vonda's singing that Venus song and we see the cityscape at night. Then we see Vonda herself for the requisite five seconds. Then we see the table that must be continually reserved for Cage-Fish and associates. Georgia's saying, "So, that was it?" Ally says that it was. She's trying to be wry and says, "Ally McBeal: Professional Homewrecker. Here's my card." Georgia goes, "I already have it." HA! But instead of being ashamed, Ally just smiles as if Georgia is truly kidding and has no reason to hate her fricking guts. Ally goes on to lord her virtue over Ling and Richard and everyone. Mercifully, the Whipper shows up and confirms that she's quit being a judge in order to practice with Renee. Everyone applauds. Ling is suddenly hanging all over Richard. (Richard and the Whipper used to date.) Richard remarks that he's surrounded by "all this wattle." Georgia takes off while telling Ally, "Love your dress." Ally tries to get up and busts her butt on the floor. Richard gets up to dance with Whipper and Ling becomes his barnacle, telling Whipper, "You're too old for this bar!" The Whipper misses an incredibly opportunity for cattiness, merely replying, "Is that so, L-li-i-ing?" as she leads Richard to the dance floor. "Fighting over me -- love it!" says Richard. He dances and Ling fumes.

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Ally McBeal

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