John is beating the tar out of the Unisex stall doors with these giant boxing gloves. Giant. I mean, huge. The size of his torso. Ally stops him wearing her pajama top and some long silk skirt, confirming my earlier thoughts of her not being able to dress herself anymore. She misses her daddy, you see. Ooh! He almost hits her right in the head. Damn. She ducked. He tells her to get out of his way and she tells him "no" with this baby voice and declares that she's taking him back to her office (Male Fantasy Alert). She takes John by the ear and yanks him into her office, further humiliating him and not being a very good friend at all, but it doesn't matter because Ally thinks she's doing the right thing. Oh, and another quick shot of Elaine. Ally wants to know what's going on with John. She's all finger-pointing and hair-flipping and lip-curling. There's supposed to be this serious scene here with John talking about high school and being a freak and all, but those gloves keep it from actually being poignant or touching. He knocks a few things off Ally's desk for good measure. He liked being a "litigant savant." He says that Ally brought him out and made him think he was mainstream, but he wasn't. He's fascinated with frogs, drafts his closing arguments in bare feet, remnants in toilet bowls bother him and he can only make love to a woman if he thinks he's Barry White. Ally gives some sort of Hallmark crap about how ordinary is boring that she got him to embrace how wonderful he is because of his quirks. She's always considered him a soulmate because they are "fellow weirdos." Oh, Ally. Not everyone wants to be you. In fact, no one wants to be you. No one. You are scary.
Episode Report CardPamie: D | 375 USERS: C+
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