Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 375 USERS: C+
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Georgia finds her office door locked and starts locking her own jaw as Richard tells her it's nothing personal. He says he hired her because he knew she was good and he'd expect her to try and take files. It's a compliment. Ling says that she can't believe that Georgia's going to quit. She looks like she might cry for a second but then asks Richard if she can have her office. Richard is too busy chiseling Georgia's name off the door. Georgia huffs that she doesn't know why Ling and Richard broke up since they're perfect for each other. Richard tells her to hold on. He says that if things don't work out at Renee's firm, and she thinks she can just come crawling back and work for him...then she's right. They'd take her back in a second. This starts Georgia's waterworks, and she flounces off wailing. "Nice, Richard, you made her cry," Ling says. Ally is putting on lipstick in the Unisex as Georgia comes in to compose herself. I can only assume that Georgia continues crying because she sees Ally in some sort of tiny pajama top. Poor girl. Her hallucinations are getting so bad she's forgetting to dress herself in the morning. Georgia says she likes it here and Ally tells her not to quit. "I have to," Georgia says, "I can't work with that pig-ass bastard." "Billy?" Ally actually asks, as if maybe Georgia was referring to Ally herself. Billy's new assistant walks in and Georgia yells at her to leave. New assistant says she has to pee. "Hold it!" Georgia screams, and I worry about her skin cracking. Ally continues putting on lipstick as she tells Georgia that maybe she shouldn't quit her job to save her marriage. Georgia says maybe she should just leave him. Ally starts a barrage of "No's" that don't sound as funny as when Billy Crystal does them. "This is a bump," she explains, and says that every marriage has bumps. Georgia asks if she can ask Ally a question. Ally fellates her lipstick and says she can. Georgia asks if she could move ahead on Ally's father. Ally says no way and that her dad is just another "pig-ass bastard" that Georgia is to stay away from. Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my suggestions. You can drop the "pig" part, though. I'd have much more fun calling Billy an "ass bastard." Ally says that her parents are happily married and that he only kissed Georgia because it was anonymous and he certainly wouldn't have kissed her if he got to know her. Georgia looks offended as Ally says that didn't come out right. She says that people change and asks John for confirmation when he walks in. He screams that no, people don't change, and that "people are what they are. They don't change. That's a big conspiracy perpetrated by the fashion designers to sell more clothes." He bangs his head against the stall door as the stutter starts and says that people don't change -- only clothes. He storms back out of the stall muttering about people leaving remnants in his bowl. Ally and the rest of the viewing audience look disgusted.

Ally McBeal

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