Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | Grade It Now!

A living robot? Is Robin Williams kidding? Two words, Rob: Toys. Jumanji. Two more: Stop it.

There's a very long trailer for Get Real letting you know what happened in the past eight episodes in case you haven't been watching. Not that you'll watch, but just so you know what you missed.

Billy's new assistant is giving him a back rub as Mrs. Jones walks in. They exchange some high-school snarkiness at each other as New Assistant gives the "Oh, boy, every one sure hates my new boss" look. Meanwhile, John is slowly listening to his Porky Pig stutter on some small machine. Richard walks in to tell him that he had a dream that John walked into a post office and opened fire with his shoe. John's machine says "AV Watch," but I still don't know what it is. Richard apologizes for hurting John's feelings. He says that he had a bad week. Ling left him. Georgia quit and his senior partner, who is also his best friend, may be cracking up. He wants to know what's going on. John puts his machine to the side to begin the Long Monologue written for Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club II: Detention Boogaloo. He always thought he'd grow up and show them all that he's not a little freak but a successful man. Richard says that John's very successful and that he's got a gorgeous girlfriend and really doesn't have anything to complain about. John says that nothing has changed. Richard makes a few faces as John says that if he walked into a high school reunion with Nelle they'd assume she was paid for. "We are what we are," John says. Richard dismisses it. John asks if Richard loved Ling. John answers a "No" for him. He says that Ling was a lot of fun and the sex was great and that would be enough if that were a stage he was going through, but it wasn't. John goes from Porky Pig to Popeye the Sailor to say, "I yam what I yam what I yam," He knows who he is and Richard knows who he is and that's the way things are. Richard tells John that if he's truly unhappy with his life then it's time for him to have children. "Don't you feel you lead a rather empty life?" John asks him. Richard smirks and says that everyone thinks they'll wake up one day and ask, "How did I get here?" He says there's no rule that says you have to wake up. Well, there's one rule. If you're writing a recap for Mighty Big TV and you doze off because Richard loves to whisper when he talks to John, then you do have to wake up for the next scene and continue typing.

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Ally McBeal




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