Harold sings in full Barbra regalia. It's the "nobody's gonna rain on my parade" song. Bleh. He could have done "Something's Coming," or dueted "I Am A Woman in Love" with Elaine or someone. The whole cast applauds until it's time to focus on Ally's problems again. Mark assures her that Larry will be at the party soon. Ally grumbles. Ling bitches about Richard and Cindy Margolis. "Who is Cindy Margolis?" Nelle asks. Nelle, you idiot, she's the Internet Queen! (Or at least, that's what I read. I don't really know who she is, either.) Ally can't stand the lack of attention, so she gets up and announces that she's leaving. "I just want to go. Can you all just let me go?" she carps. Bitch, ain't nobody stopping you. The lights go out and Ally says, "Okay, what the hell is this? Is this dark?" It's the funniest thing she's ever said in the history of the show. The lights come back on and Larry's on the stage singing "Every Breath You Take." Ally stands there and makes her weekly "deer in the headlights" face. Then Larry is replaced by Sting, who makes his trademark "let me indicate how high this note is for me by rolling my eyes up in my head" face. The audience squeals in surprise. Larry and Sting sing a line together. Larry dances with Ally, who is still pouty. Melissa and Louis are there, too. Sting beckons Larry to sing the chorus with him. Ally makes her "wide child-like eyes and slight smile" face. Everyone claps and so do I, when I realize the scene's finally over.
Out on the sidewalk, Larry tries to apologize some more, and Ally shoots him down several times. Finally she "rewards" him with a kiss. Then Vonda sings. Then we -- CHRIST, I'M GOING BLIND! -- see Larry and Ally having sex. Then we see Ally and the cartilage in her nose looking bitter and sad, awake in bed, while Larry snoozes on his stomach and dreams of getting busted on a drug charge and escaping.
Next week: Christine Lahti cameos as the local vagina dentata.