Ally McBeal
Cloudy Skies, Chance Of Parade

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Gwen: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Cameo Cavalcade

We get another close-up of Ally pouting, when I didn't need to see the first few thousand. Richard walks into her apartment. She asks him how he got the key. "Oh, Jackson had copies made. Happy birthday," he says. Huh? What -- Jackson made copies after sleeping with Renee? Why? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Richard is there to distract Ally from her problems with a problem of his own. He wants Ling back. Ally advises him to buy new clothes so that Ling will think he has a new girlfriend dressing him. Richard thanks her for the speedy advice and asks whether she wants to talk about her own problems now. "No," says Ally. "Excellent," says Richard. But it was only a fakeout. She babbles about being driven by wants and the hope of tomorrow. She's happy, but she still feels alone, even while happy with someone else. Okay, so...whatever.

Unisex. Elaine informs Jackson that his nickname at work is "The Man in the Mirror." She tells him that with their combined vanity, they should easily steal the spotlight from Ally on her birthday. Also, she wants their song to be hot. Jackson tells her that he doesn't do Elvis. "I'm smooth," he says. "Oh, it's got to be smooth." Elaine smiles at him and says, "Fine. It'll be smooth. And hot!' Jackson smiles at himself in the mirror. Just when I'm starting to enjoy his character, rumors start up about Taye Diggs leaving the show. Oh, well. It's not like I'm not used to the show sucking my dog's ass. And I don't even have a dog.

Conference room. Melissa says that she didn't break up with her husband because she expected to have a relationship with Sting. She broke up with him because he refused to acknowledge that Sting loved her that night. "I know that I'm not likely to get the leading man," says Melissa. "I know that dreams aren't likely to come true for short little housewives from Brighton. But yes, in that one moment, I felt he really did want to be with me. And it was everything, I can tell you that. I'm happy with you, Louis. I love you. But to know that Sting wanted me, even it were for only a fleeting second -- that's...that's something." Come off it, Melissa. It's not like he's Stephen Malkmus. ["God, word." -- Wing Chun]

Ally looks at herself in the bathroom mirror and says, "Okay, just confront it. Deal." Then she chases the old baby across the living room and dives onto the floor to grab him. Instead, she grabs Renee's ankles and then gets up and explains it with no qualms at all. She's upset, also, because Larry didn't buy her lunch or flowers or anything for her birthday. He only got her an alarm clock. Well, that is pretty lame. I could see moping over the fact that you have a boyfriend who's too lazy and uncaring to do anything special for your birthday, but I can't excuse hallucinating degenerate babies over it.

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Ally McBeal

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