Ally McBeal
Fear Of Flirting

Episode Report Card
Nothing Was Fast as Lightning

Previously on Ally McBeal, no one got laid, but talked a lot about their feelings. Like, Ally told Glenn that it's obvious they have chemistry, but that they can't indulge their feelings because it would hurt Jenny. Glenn was all, we have chemistry? No, we don't. Ally was all, whatever. John declared his love for Ally, and she shot him down by saying that she "wants so badly to be loved by [him], but not in the way that [he] has love for [her]." Look out -- Ally has bad relationship karma now. Glenn comes back into Ally's office and says "obviously" he does like her like her. But Jenny...Ally knows. Ally's therapist told her to go to the boy. Ally was all, the boy? Oh my god, yes, just do it with the boy already.

Lights up on the elevator. When Ally emerges with her head down -- hair smooth in front, and messed up in the back -- she rams right into Elaine, almost spilling the conents of her massive and gaudy coffee cup. Ally is all, sorry, and makes to leave, when Elaine asks her why is she talking like that. Talking like what? Clipped. Here, the dialogue gets rather Sorkin-esque, or maybe even Mamet-ian, as Ally babbles that she's extremely fine and what is Elaine talking about she's just late for a staff meeting, Elaine apologizes, saying it's her mistake. Ally says, "Good." Elaine says, "Clipped!" A nice quick moment, and all we'll see of Elaine this week. Sigh. Next, Ally slams into Glenn, and you know what that means. Extra awkwardness and anvil-sized sparks. Oh no, they can't walk into the staff meeting together! So first Glenn, then Ally. Go. Go! Go go go! They both wheel around and see the peanut gallery assemblage of Corretta, Nelle, Richard, and Jenny. Dong. Busted! For standing there!

Vonda's been dowwwn, she's been down down down...

Aerial shot of Boston. Don't mind if I do.

Staff meeting. Jenny says that Ray is being sued for sexual harrassment, and has hired her to defend him. So, the firm that canned Jenny's ass is hiring her. Sure. Ally finds herself holding the silver tray of donuts, and is forced to hand them to Glenn. Because, you know, putting them down is not an option. She makes the most ridiculous gesture -- holding the tray up to her forhead like she's blessing the doughnuts, or trying to psychically determine which has the raspberry filling and which has Boston Cream -- as Glenn frantically waves her to put the tray away; he likes hamburgers in the morning, remember? Jenny stops talking about Ray's hiring her to ask why Ally and Glenn aren't looking at each other. What? Wuh? Fish elects to move on, and brings up another case. Ally abruptly demands to see Fish outside of the meeting and he, for some insane reason, says yes.

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Ally McBeal




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