Ally McBeal
Fear Of Flirting

Episode Report Card
Nothing Was Fast as Lightning

Ray asks Glenn whether Jenny is "a good closer." He didn't mean that like it sounds. He didn't! But Glenn's cool with Ray dating Jenny as long as Ray treats her well. And what if they fall in love? Could Ray still be friends with Glenn then? Ray asks how Ally's doing. How would Glenn know? Good point.

Closing arguments. The plaintiff's laywer says that, in our society, might makes right, winning is everything, and whatever you do to win (even Ray's behavior) is acceptable. She asks the jury to set boundaries for simple manners and decency. Honey, you're on a DEK show. You're not going to win.

Jenny says that women lawyers can't go running and crying every time they lose, claiming sexual harrassment, and don't need special protection from creeps like Ray, even though his behavior is despicable. "You're a woman, for god's sake. Be a man!"

Ally's at El Shrinkador's pad. She feel herself getting..."horneous," says the shrink. "Weaker," says Ally. It seems lame to be alone, she says. Her shrink asks her to dance with him: "Trust your therapist." He takes her in his arms, flicks the remote, and "Kung Fu Fighting" starts off, gently at first. They dance closely. Then the song kicks in, and he really starts to go off, karate kicks and all. Ally squeals, flinches, stops the music, and says, "That is ridiculous." Tell it to DEK, babe.

Jenny and Ray, sitting in a conference room. The jury is deliberating. Is Ray nervous? And why did he trust this personal suit to Jenny's freckles? Hey, Jenny is fantastic. And clueless. Jenny says, you mean like you being interested in dating me? She knows. Isn't Ray interested in dating anythng with a vagina? Ray says he can't step on his best friend's turf. That seems fair and reasonable. But "fair and reasonable" don't fly on a DEK show. Jenny explains (again, some more, we know) that if she and Ray dated, Glenn could date Ally free of guilt. But what does Jenny want? What does Ray want? Ray wants to date Jenny, since Glenn is okay with it. Jenny says she's open to dating. She's single. And the truth is...the jury's back. They go back to court.

Jenny takes Ray's hand, and the jury finds for the plaintiff. The damages awarded are seventy-five cents. Damn. Jenny smiles. Ray is happy. Well, to the bar, already? Ray starts talking in a southern accent. What?

Ray's at the bar, singing "Polk Salad Annie." Everyone watches. Glenn says he begged Ray not to sing. Elaine says he isn't "terrible." Jenny says Glenn said Ray "couldn't hit a note." Elaine says he's "hitting one of [hers]," and the sound of a mortocycle engine revving plays. The bar cheers.

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Ally McBeal




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