Ally McBeal
Friends And Lovers

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
Here We Go Again (And Again)

Court. JennyAlly is arguring her class-action suit (if her clients are to be considered a class) against the phone company for cold-calling people. The judge is all, show me the damages! JennyAlly is flustered, but she can do it. She can do eeet! And starts speechifyin'. The phone people don't value your precious time at home. Their calling is of no cost to them, and they don't care what it costs you. How about a dollar a call? The judge is all, you don't have to pick up the phone. You can turn off the ringer. JennyAlly is all, what if you're waiting for a call? What if you're waiting for him to call, and it's always the damn phone company! She gets teary and the sad oboe starts to play. Get it? Get it?

So, JennyAlly is sitting on the couch. Glenn comes in and is all, is that why you sued? Because you were waiting for me to call you? Aww. That is so cute! But she broke up with him. She did! And that's going to stick. And should they work together? Yeah, because "those teenagers [Glenn] dates will take up all of his free time." Besides, Ally worked with an ex-lover! He died, but Glenn doesn't have to! Aww.

Boz Scaggs is all lipsynching, "It's Over." Get it? Oh man, that DEK is fucking brill. Magic, even! Fish dashes off to the bar, leaving Cage to ask Ally (again, some more) whether she thinks lovers can be friends. Oh yeah, she does. She'd have to, wouldn't she? And she even says that maybe JennyAlly and Glenn will have what Ally and Cage have. Which is a true platonic friendship. The needle goes off the record and Boz, thanks for your time. Dude, you should never say that to a guy. Guys always want to have sex with you. You can think it, but don't say it. Anyway, Cage is like, "Yeah, we're blessed, isn't that great," clink glasses, hooray, I'm not getting any.

The band starts up, and Glenn sings "The Lady is a Tramp" for JennyAlly. He's got a good voice. It's just enough like Frank Sinatra.

Cage tells Fish it's off with Ally. Duh.

Couch time, again. Is Ally this guy's only client? She gurgles on about how great Glenn is, with his singing and all. But JennyAlly still loves him, and Ally wants to protect her. From what? Ally wants to save JennyAlly from her fate, which is becoming "someone who wants love, but no longer believes in it." Go shrink go. His final words? "You really want that boy." Fine, have sex with the boy and ruin your mentor relationship. I don't care.

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Ally McBeal




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