Cindy finds Mark in the Unisex. She makes a lame joke including the word "penis." Mark acts bitterly jealous. "If you're marrying one man to make another one jealous..." he starts. "I'm marrying one man because I love him. The other man is a bigot," Cindy fires back. Mark's brilliant reply is, "Why? Because he can't get past your being a guy? Do you love him?!" My suggestion to Mark is that, if he's so grossed out by Cindy's being a guy, he concentrate on his new relationship with Elaine and let Cindy urinate in peace. Cindy says that she does love her boyfriend. "I find the odds of that to be astronomical," says Mark. Wow, how rude. Cindy tells Mark a thing or two and then leaves without getting to go to the bathroom. Mark grits his teeth in -- what? Jealousy? Disgust? What is Mark's motivation here, people?
At The Bar, we see Chayanne/Sam Adams perform a song that is probably entitled "Boom, Boom." Nelle does the Hair-Shaking Dance. Elaine dances with John, and then with Chayanne the Man himself, up on stage. Richard watches and asks Ling if he looks like Sam Adams when he does his Tom Jones impression. "Exactly," says Ling.
All too soon, we're seeing Ally again. She's playing and singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" on her piano, with Sam Paul by her side. I wish she wouldn't sing, because her voice annoys me even more than Vonda's. Sam doesn't want her to sing either, but he pretends it's because "Puff" is a sad song. He plays and sings the part about Puff's dying in order to illustrate this point. You can tell that he's taken voice lessons, because he uses the exaggerated diction that singing teachers everywhere get off on. Sam asks whether Ally thinks that Larry will ever come home. Ally hugs him and they have a touching conversation, which Larry, of course, overhears when he sneaks back from the store with the ice cream. Okay, so how long ago was it that Sam's house was Larry's home, first of all, and second of all, how inappropriate is it that Larry really did take Sam to spend the night at Ally's apartment? It's a good thing Renee doesn't mind all these extra people staying at her place rent-free. I guess it's okay if it saved the producers from having to build another set, though.
On the stand, Ms. Cortez tells us more about the sex she had with Sam Adams, and the dance moves it engendered. Then she tells us that Sam likes using rocky relationships as dance inspiration. Nelle objects and the judge overrules. Sam and Ms. Cortez argue in Spanish. John screams, "Quiero una galleta!" The judge tells us that he asked for a cookie, then says that she wants to see these sex-inspired salsa moves. Of course she does. Nelle rolls her eyes, and I roll mine, too. Quiero una margarita.