Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

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857 USERS: C+
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Dance To The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Case

Cindy goes to Mark's office to ask him why he said all that stuff in court. Mark tells her she's an extraordinary woman and that he wants her to marry What's-His-Name if she truly loves him. Cindy thanks him and sad music plays as she walks away. Mark inhales semi-dramatically as he watches her butt shake out the door.

Judge Walsh agrees with Mr. Fish that the law against same-sex marriages is stupid. However, he must rule against Cindy, anyway. Cindy thanks Richard for trying. Richard tells her that he's always thought of himself as the captain of his own ship, or at least of his law firm. He offers to perform her marriage ceremony, even though it wouldn't technically be legal. Cindy is surprised. What a nice homophobe Richard is, after all.

Ally goes to Larry's office and sees him in the process of packing. He saved the stupid blue plastic nose for her. He puts in on her face and makes it light up.

Sam's packing his stuff with Renee at Ally's. Ally asks whether she and Larry may have an early dinner. Larry says no, since he has "a problem with goodbyes." He rented a car to take him to the airport so he wouldn't have to say goodbye to her then, either. See, it's just like her dream, in which he only left a note. Brave smiles abound and Larry asks Ally to help him pack. She says "sure," and then stands with her back to him, trying not to cry. Then Larry pretends that he's trying not to cry, too, and Vonda sings us into the next scene.

At Nelle's office, Sam Adams has informed her that he and Ms. Cortez are going to be partners again. He asks Nelle to have a celebration dinner with him. Nelle starts with the "You're a great guy, but..." speech. Sam has the nerve to say, "Look, I know you and I weren't meant to be long-term, but short-term, there's so much wonderful sex to be had." What a dude. He kisses her cheek lingeringly. Nelle says that she'll have their case dismissed. They kiss some more and then Nelle pushes him away. Knowing that this is the end, Sam says goodbye. Nelle says, "Yeah." After he leaves, she growls. Yeah, yeah.

Richard asks Cindy if she takes Rick to be her husband, as the whole firm looks on. When Cindy says "I do," annoying Melanie makes a loud, annoying noise. As a clever person astutely pointed out on the forums, Melanie only seems to yell out insults when she's in court. Otherwise, she only squeals a little. I can't believe the writers missed this opportunity to make her shout "Penises!" or "Gay guys!" or something like that. "Then by the powers of me, Richard Fish, rich attorney with his own firm..." Richard says before declaring Cindy and Rick man and wife. Rick kisses the bride, and then Richard asks to kiss her too, stipulating, "No tongue." They kiss. John tells Melanie that he's still waiting for a little hello kiss from her. Melanie makes a big production of dipping him and kissing him, because the tic thing wasn't distracting enough, I guess. "Is she a bigger slut than me?" Elaine demands of Mark. "No," Mark assures her. John's nose has to whistle because he knows that I hate that.

Ally McBeal

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