Ally McBeal
Hats Off To Larry

Episode Report Card
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Dance To The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Case

Let me start off by saying that I gave this episode a grade of D, for boring. Yes, "boring" starts with "B." If I'd given it a B, though, it would have meant that the show was good. Understand now? I thought you would. ["Maybe it could have been 'D' for 'dull'?" -- Wing Chun]

Larry sleeps in Ally's bed, but holds Ally's teddy bear instead of holding her. Ally dreams of Vonda singing, then wakes up and hits Larry, calling him a pig. See, she dreamed he left her with only a note for a goodbye. Larry tries to reason with her. Ally tells him to hush. She's going to go back to sleep, find him in her dream, and deal with him there. Poor Larry. What a hellish awakening. He could have woken up next to Famke Janssen.

At the Fish & Cage morning meeting, we learn that Sam Adams, Latin lover stereotypical-aire, is suing his former dance partner, Ms. Cortez. ["Did you know that until very recently, our own Alex Richmond was dating a guy named Sam Adams? She was. Shout-out?" -- Wing Chun] There's a Latin ballroom-dancing competition coming up, and Sam wants to keep Ms. Cortez from using his salsa moves to win it. Nelle is handling the case, or, as she puts it: "Doing him. Er, uh, doing his case." John mutters, "Doing his glutes -- that's what she's probably doing." Yeah, she's doing his glutes. That makes sense. Actually, I can think of a way that it would make sense, but I doubt that's what the writers intended, and after last episode's foray into rim jobs, I really don't want to pursue this train of thought any further. Richard excuses John by explaining that he's horny because Melanie's out of town. Ew, gross. Elaine comes in and announces that Cindy McAuliff is there to see Richard.

Cindy wears a weird plaid choker as she explains to Richard that she wants to get married. Unrealistically, she wants Richard to represent her as she contests Massachusetts's stricture against same-sex marriage. She explains that Richard has a firm grasp of the homophobia that they'll be facing, and that's why he's the right attorney for the case. Sure, Cindy -- whatever. Richard says that he'll have to bring on a second chair since this case involves the law and he finds the law boring.

Sam Adams enters the Fish & Cage lobby, causing Elaine to become her own private dancer, a dancer of salsa, she does what she wants herself to do. Ally walks up and asks her if everything's all right. Elaine says it is. Then Ally takes off, and Elaine goes back to her dance. It would have been a better scene if Ally hadn't interrupted.

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Ally McBeal




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