Ally McBeal
Hats Off To Larry

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Dance To The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Case

In court, Sam Adams compares himself and Ms. Cortez to Simon and Garfunkel: they were a team, but everyone knows who wrote the songs. Then he gratuitously compares dancing to making love, causing Nelle to Freudian slip all over the place. Ms. Cortez's attorney assesses that Sam Adams and Ms. Cortez were lovers. Nelle objects, apparently because this is news to her. She withdraws her objection when the judge gives her a look. Sam Adams tells the court that he and Ms. Cortez discovered the dance moves in question while they were having sex, and that he was definitely the teacher in that relationship. Can I object? Is this at all necessary?

In one of the little courthouse side rooms, Nelle gets on Sam Adams for not telling her about his prior relationship with Ms. Cortez. He asks her if she's angry as his lawyer, or angry as a woman who's also slept with him. John's nose whistles. Nelle sputters, and then asks John to excuse them for a moment. Nelle complains some more. Sam kisses her and then suggests that she isn't the right lawyer for this case. Nelle demurs with a brave smile. I wonder if she's trying the case for free.

Sam (Paul, not Adams) comes off the Fish & Cage elevator wearing a long trench coat, which hides Larry, on whose shoulders he's riding. Larry is, in turn, riding a unicycle. They unsteadily wheel up to Elaine. Sam lip-synchs as Larry says that he'd like to sue the unicycle manufacturer for selling him only half a bicycle, and on and on. Maybe it's just because I have the flu, or because I'm overworked, or because I have real-life problems of my own, but this isn't funny to me at all. Is there one person in America who found this amusing? One person not involved with the show, I mean. The constant juxtaposition of tasteless sex jokes and unfunny, un-cute shenanigans on this show is enough to make me....It's enough to make me comment on it negatively in my recaps, I guess. Ally comes out and watches Sam and Larry pretend to fall into her office. They aren't hurt, though. Weren't you worried? Larry tells Ally that Sam will be staying with him for the next couple of days so that Sam can see his life. Ally asks when she'll see Larry again. He informs her that he and Sam will be sleeping at her place that evening. I hope he's kidding.

Cindy finds Mark in the Unisex. She makes a lame joke including the word "penis." Mark acts bitterly jealous. "If you're marrying one man to make another one jealous..." he starts. "I'm marrying one man because I love him. The other man is a bigot," Cindy fires back. Mark's brilliant reply is, "Why? Because he can't get past your being a guy? Do you love him?!" My suggestion to Mark is that, if he's so grossed out by Cindy's being a guy, he concentrate on his new relationship with Elaine and let Cindy urinate in peace. Cindy says that she does love her boyfriend. "I find the odds of that to be astronomical," says Mark. Wow, how rude. Cindy tells Mark a thing or two and then leaves without getting to go to the bathroom. Mark grits his teeth in -- what? Jealousy? Disgust? What is Mark's motivation here, people?

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Ally McBeal

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