Ally McBeal
Hats Off To Larry

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Dance To The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Case

At The Bar, we see Chayanne/Sam Adams perform a song that is probably entitled "Boom, Boom." Nelle does the Hair-Shaking Dance. Elaine dances with John, and then with Chayanne the Man himself, up on stage. Richard watches and asks Ling if he looks like Sam Adams when he does his Tom Jones impression. "Exactly," says Ling.

All too soon, we're seeing Ally again. She's playing and singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" on her piano, with Sam Paul by her side. I wish she wouldn't sing, because her voice annoys me even more than Vonda's. Sam doesn't want her to sing either, but he pretends it's because "Puff" is a sad song. He plays and sings the part about Puff's dying in order to illustrate this point. You can tell that he's taken voice lessons, because he uses the exaggerated diction that singing teachers everywhere get off on. Sam asks whether Ally thinks that Larry will ever come home. Ally hugs him and they have a touching conversation, which Larry, of course, overhears when he sneaks back from the store with the ice cream. Okay, so how long ago was it that Sam's house was Larry's home, first of all, and second of all, how inappropriate is it that Larry really did take Sam to spend the night at Ally's apartment? It's a good thing Renee doesn't mind all these extra people staying at her place rent-free. I guess it's okay if it saved the producers from having to build another set, though.

On the stand, Ms. Cortez tells us more about the sex she had with Sam Adams, and the dance moves it engendered. Then she tells us that Sam likes using rocky relationships as dance inspiration. Nelle objects and the judge overrules. Sam and Ms. Cortez argue in Spanish. John screams, "Quiero una galleta!" The judge tells us that he asked for a cookie, then says that she wants to see these sex-inspired salsa moves. Of course she does. Nelle rolls her eyes, and I roll mine, too. Quiero una margarita.

Larry walks into Ally's office and stutters something about Sam's being at his place, or with Elaine, or something. Ally wonders what he's talking about, and Larry says that he was going to make a joke but ended up unable to do so. Larry's been talking to Sam's teacher and finding out about Sam's fighting and other misbehavior at school. Well, it's nice that Larry's suddenly taking an interest in Sam's education after all these years, I guess. Ally tells Larry that he needs to go to Detroit. Wait -- Ally actually said something unselfish? No way!

Richard tells (guess who?) Judge Walsh that the Constitution says nothing about men being unable to marry men. The attorney for the defense points out that Congress passed an amendment about it. Richard points out that Congress also once passed an amendment against interracial marriage. He babbles about sex offenders and murderers being able to marry. He says that Congress is trying to conform to the views of the rednecks who live in America. Judge Walsh interrupts. Mark jumps up from the back of the courtroom and asks for permission to speak. "Who the hell are you?" asks Judge Walsh. Ha. Judge Walsh is good. Mark has to run up to the bench to tell everyone that he dated Cindy and that she's one of the finest women he's ever known. This causes Cindy to look after him longingly as he stomps out of the courtroom. Whatever, Mark.

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Ally McBeal

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