Ally McBeal
Hats Off To Larry

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Dance To The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Case

Larry tells Ally that he can't just uproot himself again. Ally reminds him of that thing he said to her about having a child and underestimating one's capacity to love, or whatever. She yaks on and on, until Larry finally says, "I will come back." "I know you will, baby," says Ally. They talk some more and when I woke up, they were kissing and Ally was doing that "sad face over the guy's shoulder" thing. I wonder if Robert Downey Jr.'s son is watching this episode.

Chayanne's salsa band magically appears in the courtroom and plays as Sam Adams and Ms. Cortez dance in their matching red-and-black Mod print costumes. Sam's special "moves" include pushing up Ms. Cortez's skirt, touching her between her breasts, and grinding against her in various ways. Nelle cringes throughout. After the number's over, the dancers give each other looks of lust as John claps and Nelle seems less than happy. Now I know what to do next time I get a traffic ticket -- hire a choreographer.

Cindy goes to Mark's office to ask him why he said all that stuff in court. Mark tells her she's an extraordinary woman and that he wants her to marry What's-His-Name if she truly loves him. Cindy thanks him and sad music plays as she walks away. Mark inhales semi-dramatically as he watches her butt shake out the door.

Judge Walsh agrees with Mr. Fish that the law against same-sex marriages is stupid. However, he must rule against Cindy, anyway. Cindy thanks Richard for trying. Richard tells her that he's always thought of himself as the captain of his own ship, or at least of his law firm. He offers to perform her marriage ceremony, even though it wouldn't technically be legal. Cindy is surprised. What a nice homophobe Richard is, after all.

Ally goes to Larry's office and sees him in the process of packing. He saved the stupid blue plastic nose for her. He puts in on her face and makes it light up.

Sam's packing his stuff with Renee at Ally's. Ally asks whether she and Larry may have an early dinner. Larry says no, since he has "a problem with goodbyes." He rented a car to take him to the airport so he wouldn't have to say goodbye to her then, either. See, it's just like her dream, in which he only left a note. Brave smiles abound and Larry asks Ally to help him pack. She says "sure," and then stands with her back to him, trying not to cry. Then Larry pretends that he's trying not to cry, too, and Vonda sings us into the next scene.

At Nelle's office, Sam Adams has informed her that he and Ms. Cortez are going to be partners again. He asks Nelle to have a celebration dinner with him. Nelle starts with the "You're a great guy, but..." speech. Sam has the nerve to say, "Look, I know you and I weren't meant to be long-term, but short-term, there's so much wonderful sex to be had." What a dude. He kisses her cheek lingeringly. Nelle says that she'll have their case dismissed. They kiss some more and then Nelle pushes him away. Knowing that this is the end, Sam says goodbye. Nelle says, "Yeah." After he leaves, she growls. Yeah, yeah.

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Ally McBeal

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