Ally McBeal
Heart And Soul

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Heart of an Artichoke

Nelle and Ally are in the Uni when Nelle says, "There's nothing wrong with being an elitist." She thinks more people should be. Ally is all, "Why?" Nelle hates face-painters at football games, which "celebrates the common man." If Ally dates JBJ, she'll be "dating down," and she'll always wonder if she could have everything she wanted. Um, what more does Ally want? She has the house and the kid. I think all she wants is a man. And JBJ? Is a man. A hunky man, many people tell me. But Nelle was just trying to help.

Dame Edna comes knocking, gently knocking on Albert Hall's chamber door. She's come to prattle on some more about Serena's case. Al Hall wants to hear nothing about it, because even though Dame Edna isn't a lawyer, he'll consider her words ex parte. She says they should acknowledge "the elephant in the room." The who in the what now? Dame Edna means the sexual tension between the two of them. You'd think Dame Edna would get laid once in a while, instead of fruitlessly throwing herself at every available male. Maybe she gave up sex for Lent, in lieu of these fruitless but fun flirtations. Judge is all, get out! Dame Edna makes to leave, then turns at the door and softly says, "Please don't let her die." The door closes behind her, and Al Hall gets a great reaction-in-profile shot.

We zoom over Boston and land at Ally's Very Very Very Fine House. She bounds down the stairs in a plaid mini and white loose-knit sweater to find a snowman at the bottom, waiting for her. It's wearing glasses and a sign that says, "I'll be back." Ally is justifiably agog. Then, she walks to the middle of the room, aims herself at the door, and sees Larry! He says, "I'm back." She stammers. He says he was hoping he could move in. She says, "Move, m-move move in?" He brightly says, "Are you thinking about it?" Then Maddie interrupts and asks, "Why are you talking to the door?" Ally wheels around, then wheels back and sees that the snowman and Larry was Just Another Hallucination. Ally says sometimes she talks to stuff, but she doesn't "need" the stuff to talk back because she "has a daughter." Maddie is all, "Are you okay?" No. No, she isn't.

Richard and Ray are yelling at Dame Edna for hitting on Judge Albert Hall. Dame Edna sing-songs, "You're getting emoooo-tionallll!" Hee. She says she was trying to "charm" the judge, and that at her "age," her advances are at the speed of "continental drift." Ray and Richard yell, yell, yell. The music is mischievous. Sigh.

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Ally McBeal

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