Ally McBeal
Heart And Soul

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C | 1 USERS: A+
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The Heart of an Artichoke

Woo, Boston! We land at the courtroom again, where Ray is pontificating about the merits and ethics of this case: Serena is "dying," and her death can be "prevented" if her jailed-for-life Killer Dad can "contribute to society" one last time by giving her his heart. Then, this filler: "We all run so scared of slippery slopes and the possibility that things can go wrong down the road...." Um, what? If we were scared of slippery slopes, wouldn't we be tiptoeing? Anyway, Opposing Counsel steps up and says, "We should be very wary of allowing convicts to donate organs." Heh. I can't help it. But, organ, organ, organ. Hey baby, want an organ donation? Oh, yeah. But seriously, I don't think prisoners donating organs should be such a touchy issue if they agree to it and the family is cool with it. And, of course, if the prisoners are dead OF NATURAL CAUSES. Jesus. Dear David E. Kelley: Please rent All About My Mother, a really, really great movie about family, sickness and death, and organ transplants. It's so much cooler than this stuff you're writing! It's in Spanish, but they have subtitles. Maybe you can get 'Shelle to read them to you when you curl up in her little lap! That will be nice, won't it? Pedro Almodavar, the writer and director? Even won some awards for it. Does that interest you? "Awards"? Good. Opposing Counsel says "organs should not be used as currency," and hee! Don't try to buy me with your organ! Judge says this case isn't about all prisoners, but rather about "a father that wants to give his heart to his daughter." Um, but it is about prisoners. He's a prisoner. Serving life. If he were free, don't you think he could get an assisted suicide easily enough? That's the whole crux of the matter here -- he doesn't want to off himself in jail because the heart could curdle, or something. Oh, forget it. Remind me to tell you about that time I looked into the heart of an artichoke. Opposing Counsel says this case is really about deciding who may live and who should die. Is Judge "really that good a judge?" Al Hall looks stern, but does not say Opposing Counsel is in contempt. Which he is. At least with me.

Woo, Boston at night, sailor's delight! Dame Edna waddles over to Aunt Carol and introduces herself. Aunt Carol looks none too pleased to talk to Dame Edna, who was wondering what Aunt Carol's dead sisters' soul "thinks of all this?" Aunt Carol thinks Killer "shouldn't get salvation" from donating his heart. Yeah, we're aware of that. I want to see the list of people waiting for hearts, and if Serena is really #1 on that list, and if her dad is really the best choice for donation. But that's just cynical me. Dame Edna says, "anger has such life sometimes, doesn't it?" She means Aunt Carol, not me. But she could just as easily be talking about me!

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Ally McBeal

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