Elaine, Ling, Nelle, and Mark engage in a little schadenfreude in the lobby of Fish & Cage. Ally walks in and everyone stares at her. She narrows her eyes like Gary Coleman and says, "What?" and then walks off. John enters the lobby after her and all the gossipmongers lean in for the carrion. Ling smiles as she asks whether Ally is devastated or crushed. John replies sarcastically but mildly. I think this scene is pretty overblown. I like to waste several hours a day gossiping with my co-workers as much as anyone else does, but there's no reason to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others, even if the others are as annoying as Ally. I mean, there's this one woman at my work who annoys me and we make fun of her all the time, but I wouldn't cackle if she broke up with her boyfriend. It's much more enjoyable and morally palatable to make fun of her mannerisms and memos instead.
Richard calls John's cell using a tiny microphone and earphone attached to his own cell. He's come up with a plan for Jane's case. With the use of the headphone and microphone, John will listen to the proceedings from afar and feed Richard his lines, "just like that show Cyrano de Burger King." Richard begs John for his help, saying that if he wins, he just might get sex. Then he turns around and sees Jane listening to his phone conversation. Without missing a beat, he asks her, "Am I right, Jane, or is that overstating it?" "You might," she confirms. Feedback and static cause Richard to tell John that he will call back during the case. Jane's wig makes her look like a washed-out monkey as she expresses the wish to be able to pay Richard for his services. He says that the naked pictures are enough. She goes on saying that she shouldn't be in L.A. where she's constantly on the edge of disrespectability. She should be learning about theater in Ohio or somewhere. Richard makes some polite reply and Jane is compelled to kiss him, complete with sucking of his upper lip. Richard does the "we really should go do something else now" après-kiss thing that always annoys me on TV. No, you really should make out now. Why wait? I mean, I know they have the motion coming up, but Richard should say, "Hey, that ruled. Let's come back here and make out hard-core as soon as the motion is over" instead of "we really should blah blah blah now" as if the kiss didn't happen. Ugh. That's so infuriating. Why do my favorite TV characters do that? Why don't they just get it on? WHEN DO I GET TO HAVE SEX, DAMMIT?