Larry and Ally talk in one of their offices. He explains that he was meeting Helena at the ice cream parlor to talk about Ally. She is skeptical. He says what we all heard him say in the promos -- that he's failed as a husband and a father and that the biggest lie of all would be to promise that he'd never fail again. Yeah, he has a point there. I mean, I'll agree with anything he says if it gets him away from that harpy Ally. He walks off as Vonda sings some trite crap.
Ally walks home in her ugly plaid trench coat. Then she has wine with Renee and tells her that Larry's gone. "I'm gonna get a note," she foresees. Okay, could you please hurry up and get it, then? I thought this episode was ending five minutes ago.
It's the next day, and Ally's walking down the sidewalk again. She hallucinates herself pushing a baby carriage, then crashes into her mother, played by Jill Clayburgh. Her mom hugs her as she cries. I cry a little, too, because I feel sorry for Jill Clayburgh for not having anything better to do.
The judge voids Jane's contract. She hugs Richard and asks how she can thank him. "Uh, sex?" he says. She tells him that he didn't fly all the way out for sex -- he did it because he's a nice person. She wants to go out and do the Hustle. He says his flight's leaving at 2 PM. She tries to coax him to stay, since he left early last time. "Last time it was wise. This time it's necessary," he says, as if that means something that makes sense. I guess random, nonsensical break-up speeches are contagious.
Ally's mom tries to make her see reason while they sit at a table in some restaurant. She says that Ally only broke up with Larry yesterday and that they can still patch it up. The waiter comes up to take their order and Mommy McBeal tells him they aren't eating or drinking. When he looks askance at this, she says, "We're here for the ambience. Could you beat it, please?" I hope the waiter gets the manager to throw them out of the restaurant, but I'm pretty sure it won't happen because the writers of this show seem to have fetishes for rude women. Ally babbles on and on about craving baby carriages and reciting Gloria Steinem. Mommy McBeal doesn't blame her for wanting a family, because "family's everything." Whatever -- way to discount everyone in the universe who decides not to procreate. She hopes things work out with Larry and blah, blah, blah. The waiter walks up and passes on the manager warning that if the "ladies" aren't going to eat, they need to surrender the table. "I'll give you the table. Would you like something to start with? Perhaps the chair?" says Jill Clayburgh as the "this is supposed to be funny" music plays. Geez, why doesn't someone just kill these hags and put them out of everyone else's misery?