Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C | 603 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Do We Share the Same McDNA?

Ally's drinking wine on her couch. Toss a bong, a dog, and a guy named Ben in there, and you've got me. Obi-Wan walks in. Ally tells him the DNA was a match. He says congrats. She says "it doesn't make [her] a parent, but if anyone tries to take [Maddie] away, [Ally] has the legal right to make noise." Um, "make noise"? Like, what kind of noise? A "moop" sort of noise? Then Ally says she was crying, so if her eyes are red, it's "not because of the wine." That's a shout-out to me, the one with the bong, isn't it? Isn't it? Ally has the LP to South Pacific on her coffee table. Obi-Wan picks it up, then puts it down. Ally grabs her CD remote and flicks it on; she has the CD of the soundtrack to South Pacific, too. Hey, remember that knock-knock joke? Who's there? Sam and Janet? Sam and Janet who? Sam and Janet evening. Yeah. Obi-Wan gets up and is all, I'm going to go, but Ally asks that he dance with her. Is that code for "Happy Talk," if you know what I mean? Oh, Ally, just wash that man right out of your hair, and send him on his way. How high? Bali high. And do you know what there's nothing like? A dame. Nothing in the world. Anyway, they dance. I'm totally reminded of the bonus season finale of Sex & The City, when SJP and Big get all verkelmpt over Mancini, and "Moon River," the theme to Breakfast at Tiffany's. Oh, ew, Vonda starts singing. Ally and Obi-Wan dance and spin and dance and hold each other. Vonda is all, "Once you have found her, never let her go." Obi-Wan holds Ally to him tightly. Wait, the screen is fading to black. Wait, I don't get it!

Ally McBeal

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