Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the longest "previously" ever: Richard hasn't made Nelle a partner yet, despite all of her bitching. John spanked Nelle with a hairbrush, like, SIX MONTHS AGO, but whatever. Now Nelle and John keep snapping little insults at each other. Ally likes The British Guy. The British Guy isn't asking why Ally lisps only when she's talking to him, even though that's the first question I'd ask her. Ally tries a new monotone way of talking sexy. Oh, wait. That's not new. Well, anyway, she's doing it again. This time she's added some crazy Manson Lamps (tm The Sopranos) eye-fixation with it. Wait, that's not new either. Nelle gets treated to some very funny charts Richard made to show that if he takes her on as a partner, his cut in revenue goes down. Nelle says there will be consequences.
I wish I could say the episode gets better, but really I enjoyed the Previously more than any other minute in this episode, but here goes anyway.
They've got the D-Girl from The Sopranos to represent Nelle in the "I'm quitting and taking my clients with me" plot that will go on for the next fifty minutes. Basically, this scene is just a Battle of the Sharply Drawn Eyebrows, which makes it difficult to actually pay attention to any sort of "dialogue," but I'll try. Between the incredible sibilant "s"es, the women discuss that Nelle is ready to start her own firm. She's got all of the supplies. Oh. My. God. I'm not kidding. In the background there's the giant penis sculpture from A Clockwork Orange. This, beyond all doubt, must be a shout-out to Mighty Big TV with DEK's lipstick kisses all over it. I've paused the screen and squinted. It really must be the giant penis sculpture. A shooting star passes outside my window. I beg to never have to watch another episode of this show again. Dammit. I just told you my wish, didn't I? I'll never learn. Nelle mentions that besides Richard, Elaine would be able to get the insider info on any clients that Nelle had access to. D-Girl suggests that Nelle should try and get Elaine to leave with her by offering her more money. Nelle doesn't want to because she doesn't like her and that she's rather loyal to Ally. D-Girl mentions that she had sex with Richard once. "It wasn't intimate," she drones. They both discuss being "dastardly," which makes me wish that their drawn eyebrows could flip into handle-bar eyebrows, but they aren't. Nelle seems to be terribly annoyed by this whole process of leaving the firm and starting her own, so I can't see why she's going through so much trouble.