Ally McBeal
I Want Love

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | Grade It Now!
I Need Drugs

Back at the bar -- where Sir Elton has booked a two-night stand, it appears -- everyone celebrates. "Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting" plays. Is it Saturday? I thought they just won a case? Oh, well. I guess that song doesn't have to be sung on a Saturday; it's true anytime. Fish drools over Jackie Bisset's wattle. Whatever. Ally splits.

Glenn knocks; he noticed Ally split. And, he asked her out, but she never answered. Since she's older, and therefore wiser (ba ha!), she wants to drop some science on him. See, she can't date him, because if they get serious, and she falls in love, she'll get "crushed. Because that's what happens." So, you're scared, asks Glenn. No. Practical. Ally wants it written on her tombstone that "she was practical." Ally? That will never ever happen. It's already been written in stone, and it reads, "She Had Bad Hair." Glenn just says, "all right," and goes back to the bar. Seriously, dude. It's. NOT. WORTH. IT. He steps onto the elevator, and Elton John's very Beatle-esque song "I Need Love" starts up. See, Ally can't love, shot full of holes! She can't feel nothing, she just feels cold! Can't feel nothing, just old scars. They're toughening up, around her heart. Do you get me? Do you need me to spell the lyrics out? So, Glenn leaves, and as he arrives home, Ally's parked on his doorstep. They're both confused. Maybe this is a start? "Goodnight, cute boy." Ally pecks him on the lips. She can't go now, because Glenn is holding her hands. A beat, then a longer kiss. "Well, it didn't change my life, but it wasn't terrible." Nice. So, she leaves, with Glenn staring after her. How unsatisfying.

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Ally McBeal




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