John is head-touching again as Ally sits down beside him. She apologizes. She says she knows he was right since they were already fighting before they ever became a couple. John says that he can't remember a time when they ever exchanged a harsh word before and I hear the Mighty Big TV forum fire up in the other room as someone posts a topic called, "Oh, yes they have!" Ally says she only said those things out of hurt and that she loves that he's odd and loves his eccentricities and that she loves him as a friend. He asks what she thinks that dream was really about. She says she's not sure, but that maybe she's just so starved for intimacy on any level that she mistook the intimacy of friendship for something more. She knows that the thought of losing him as his friend or her best friend is unthinkable. He agrees. She offers her hand for a truce. He pushes it away, says "treaty," and takes her into his arms. They dance as Vonda sings. Renee pushes her tears away and says, "Didn't think she was my best friend anyway. I only share a damn phone bill with that bitch."
Vonda "shoo bop, shoo bops" us right into the bar as we reach my official Too Much Vonda point. Billy is drinking at the bar. Sandy walks up to say that it is too cliché for Billy to be drinking at the bar the day he gets served divorce papers. No, that was yesterday, remember? Anyway, all of the firm dances in unison behind them as Richard asks if he should be out there dancing with Richard. Sandy says that would be even more cliché. Billy calls Sandy a "good girl," which proves that he isn't learning a damn thing from all of this. She says that she's going home. He offers to walk her out. "That's all you'll do," she says with force. "That's all I'm offering," he says with a grin.
Elaine is crying in the Unisex. Ally walks in and Elaine says she got mascara in her eye. Ally shoves her fingers in her mouth to ask if Elaine regularly sleeps with men on the first date. Elaine says she doesn't. Ally says then that Bob got it wrong. She says that she wonders what the Car Wash Guy thinks of her. Elaine says that Car Wash Guy was out of character for Ally, and that people already think of Elaine that way. She says that maybe it's in her character. Ally reminds Elaine that she enjoys "putting [herself] out there as a sexual person." She says that if some people think that makes her a slut, then "they just get it wrong." She says that Elaine doesn't have to change. "There's no power in acting the way you think people want you to be." She says she admires Elaine. Elaine scoffs at that remark. Ally brings up "the lecture" from "last year" about how Elaine likes her life and not everyone wants to be a lawyer or a doctor. She says that Elaine was the reason she "sang that song at the Christmas party last year." She's referring to two episodes ago. I know we've had about three weeks to adjust to the year 2000, but I haven't started referring to this past December as "last year" yet. She says she wanted to be Elaine for one night. She doesn't know anyone else who would marinate clothing in pheromones. Ally says that Elaine is an optimist, and that's what she wants to be when she "grows up." Elaine and Ally share a moment in the mirror as Elaine says, "I'm lonely." Ally, never missing a moment to talk about herself, says that she's lonely too. "There are worse things," Rizzo says. Elaine asks what they are. She offers to think about what they could be while they go to dinner.