Ally McBeal
Just Friends

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Just Friends

MALE FANTASY ALERT! MALE FANTASY ALERT! Elaine is in the Unisex with Ling. She's swaying and grinding in the mirror. We pan up from her ass to her chest. She holds her tiny-tee to her stomach and says, "They're not too perky, are they?" MALE FANTASY ALERT! "Actually," Ling says as she walks over and starts handling Elaine's breasts through her shirt, "they need to look alive and awake." You know, I just imagine that David E. Kelley sits at home holding his tiny penis and says, "This week, I'm gonna make sure that Asian hottie touches that slut's tits. Oh, yeah. That's so hot. And it'll happen in a firm. That's so sexy." Michelle must be very lonely. John walks in as Ling makes another adjustment. She asks what he thinks. Ally then walks in and love-babbles to him for a few seconds before she leaves. She does a mean arm-swing across the firm to her office as Vonda continues to "sing" about how "Easy" it is to fall in love. Ally opens the door to the back-up singers in full dance-wiggle. "It's not easy!" Ally shouts at them, which of course cues the music to grind to a halt. Oh, when will those music-ending jokes cease to be amusing? Oh yeah, 1998. That's right. I knew I had that written down somewhere. The backup singers turn to dust as John walks in and asks her what her damage is. Ally has to shove all of her fingers into her mouth so she can come clean and tell him it's him. She says she had a dream about the two of them together as a couple. She re-tells the first scene of the episode, but I won't. All you have to know is the subtext. Here it is: Look to Left. Look to Right. Hand on Forehead. Hand on Back of Head. LTR. LTL. LTR. Look down. Hand on forehead. Puff lip. LTR. She then reiterates all of the things that John has said since the first episode of the season about his not fitting in and being different and that he's always felt a kinship with her. I saw these shows, and you've at least read the recaps, so I'm not going to continue with Ally's own version of Mighty Big TV. She then tells him that she realizes that so many parts of her she's too scared to share with anyone other than him. What parts are these? Are there any hallucinations that she hasn't shared with therapists, one-night-stands, brides-to-be, Renee, Billy, Elaine, the Whipper, homeless people, Ling, us, her parents, Georgia, or Al Green? Oh, there's one. She tells John that she's hallucinating the back-up singers. She hadn't gotten around to asking anyone else if they'd heard them, so she makes it sound like she was saving that one just for John.

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Ally McBeal




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