Vonda's been down, she's been down down down...
Ally stomps along the "streets" of "Boston" to a punk rock version of "Tell Him." Still hoary! Then, a staff meeting. Glenn gives Ally the hairy eyeball. Fish goes over the details: Ling's TV judge show premieres today. Also, he'll be in court with Corretta as second chair, on a case about which he knows nothing at all, and John's back. John! Nelle looks happy. Fish has many questions. John is all, "Let's move along, it's my business, wade pool." Meeting's over.
Ally chases John down the hall, asking where he was, and saying she was worried. John says he left a note. Can they talk about it? Ally asks. "Not with him watching," says John. Ally's head whips around in speeded-up slo-mo. She sees Glenn. His head whips to look at something other than Ally and John. Ally whips her head back to look at John, who is gone. Then, another head whip back to Glenn. He's gone, too.
Ally creeps into Glenn's office. He's chowing on a hamburger. She's wearing the ugliest jacket I have ever seen. It's brown leather with brown and cream checks on it. Old men would hate this jacket. Frat boys dressing up like circa-'70s pimps would pass it up at the thrift store. Huggy Bear rejected this jacket when it turned up in the Mod Squad wardrobe closet. And the hair? Better, but still frightening. So, Ally apologizes for teasing Glenn's penis, which as anyone who lives in his or her body knows is a useless apology. Ally says that, in college, boys didn't look at her, and last night she felt like she was "living out a fantasy," which was "wrong," because she doesn't want to jump into bed with every "Tom, Dick, or Larry that comes along." Heh heh, oops, or not. Glenn is all, you don't want to sleep with me because it'd be unfair to whomever comes after me? "Why does it have to be so complicated? Why not sleep with me just to find out what you were missing in college?" Seriously. Ally rises out of her chair and imperiously says, "Statements like that make me realize I was missing nothing." I hate you, Ally McBeal. Glenn is all, thirty-one is too old for a twenty-eight-year-old? Wuh? Ally says she "hadn't wanted to sound crazy" with Glenn, but here goes: she feels like a "very old soul." Oh, for the love of all things on earth. Glenn, did you want to have to use a shovel with the next girl you dated? To shovel shit with, and to maybe clang her across the back of the head? Because if you did, ding ding ding! You've won the jackpot. Ally says she and Glenn "come from different worlds." Sure -- the crazy world and the non-crazy world. And the two worlds can mix, but why? Ally stares at Glenn. Glenn, get the shovel.