Ally McBeal
Love Is All Around

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Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now!
Love Is All Around

The verdict is in: The plaintiff wins $610,000! Damnation. They won! Miss Bump says "there's always a nugget of truth in [her] courtroom antics." And, she thinks John is "hot." What a stupid conclusion.

Ally and Elaine sugar their Starbucks coffees. Ally needs to know; is Matthew Perry right? Not for Ally. Does she not allow people to confront her? Is Victor right for her? Elaine says JBJ is the opposite of her -- smart, sane -- and Matthew Perry is Ally. ["Ally's a dick? Yeah, I can see it." -- Wing Chun] Why not just go on one date with him? Ally doesn't "want to blow Victor." The sirens go off, and Elaine does a spit-take with her coffee. "Have. [She] doesn't want to blow what [she has] with Victor." Which is what, exactly? "It would destroy Maddie." Elaine points out that Ally has always dated lawyers, probably has more in common with Matthew Perry, and "for whatever reason, can't stop thinking about him." I have a reason: Ally's a head case bent on self-destruction.

Dame Edna is facing Jerome in the bar, wearing her wedding dress, to "show [him] what [he'll] be missing." Why is he still practicing songs if the wedding is off? "Singing helps [him] deal with his emotions," plus he was "thrown" by her doubts. She doesn't have any doubts! She still loves him! So, how about they get engaged and throw a party? They can get married in June and have a big wedding! "In June, all [her] buds come into season." "June it is!" Great, we have season finale.

Ally and JBJ chow down at a nice dinner out. She makes noise with her fork and picks a fight with JBJ. Is he seeing someone else? No? Well, maybe she wants to see someone else. She's used to being in "combative relationships," not people who "go with the wind," like JBJ does, "even if it is [Ally's] wind." People in the restaurant turn and stare. He didn't even get ruffled when they were gong to have sex and the dead baby-sitter re-railed it! We have a people-staring double-take. JBJ says maybe Ally's right. She sputters. He asks if she'd rather he throw over the table and storm out. She says that would be something. So, he leaves, tossing his napkin down on the table. Run, JBJ. Run fast, run far.

Out on the street, a yellow cab breezes by JBJ. Damn, he's stuck. Pump them legs, man! Oh no, here comes Ally. She's all, "How dare you walk out." Well, you really provoked him, woman. If he'd acted like a gentleman any more, you'd probably have stuck him with your fork. He starts to bluster that she's neurotic, and only happy when she's miserable. Yup. Ally calls him a bigot. He's all, if you want to date someone else, go ahead. He calls a cab and it stops. She yells at him not to leave. He asks that she slide in; they can fight on the way home. Once she's in, he says her address, slams the door, and runs off to catch another cab. Her cab takes off, just as his cab goes in the opposite direction, and she stops another cab in the middle of the road. The driver of this fourth cab asks, what is she, crazy? Ally, screaming like a lunatic in the middle of the street, says yes, she is, in fact, crazy. She hops in the cab, and who's sitting there? Yup. Matthew Perry.

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Ally McBeal




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