Ally McBeal
Love On Holiday

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Gwen: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Do I Hear a Nickel

Ally walks up and babbles to Larry about something or other. Kimmy runs up and asks Ally to go to The Bar that night as a mommy surrogate. Larry agrees on Ally's behalf. This contrived scene has no point at all.

Nelle and Date Boy dance at the bar and remark on the fact that they've now known each other for ten hours and thirteen minutes. I'm just glad she changed her dress. Date Guy mentions that he "sort of had to" count the minutes, but he doesn't say why.

The "lots of short scenes around The Bar" scene continues. Paul is leaning over Richard, saying that he's owed a dance as part of his date. Richard says he might do a "fast dance." I love that he uses "fast dance" as opposed to "slow dance," like we did in junior high. Richard is homophobic. He can show Paul a note from his doctor. Vonda pretends to pump up the jams and Paul drags Richard to the floor. He paws and spins Richard while Ling videotapes the magical moment. John and Kimmy dance until John notices Kimmy's mom hiding at the bar in a blond wig. He stalks off in a cranky mood. Paul drags Richard across the floor. Ally wants to know what Larry's thinking, but it's none of her business. Date Boy tells Nelle that she was right -- he's going away forever the next day. It turns out that he's "that doctor in the paper" who euthanized one of his patients. He's going to jail for life, probably. Nelle is very sad. You can see her thinking, "Damn. Now I'll NEVER get over the trauma of dating John."

Next day in the Unisex, Nelle's told Ling the whole story. She's all heartbroken and stuff. Date Guy wanted to spend his last day of freedom with Nelle. Aw. Nelle tries to pretend that she's not in love. Ling tries to be a good friend, but I guess it doesn't work too well because she's out of practice.

In the lobby, Elaine wears the third '70s print halter dress of the hour. Richard comes in with shades and a cap, but everyone recognizes him, anyway. Kimmy and Mommy show up to apologize to John, but he isn't having it. The only thing worth noting in their portion of the scene is the fake fur scarf Marlo Thomas is wearing.

In the conference room, several attempts at humor fail. Then Larry brilliantly deduces that Peanut is in love with Elaine and that's why he's suing her. See, Peanut is one of the many, many people on this show who use court action to get romantic action. The Peanut complains that Elaine comes on to everyone but him. Elaine says (for Mark's benefit, really,) that she comes off as promiscuous, but that she only does skanky things to get attention. She asks if Peanut is suing her to get attention. Peanut says that everyone's her type except him, and it hurts. Boo hoo, what a waste of film.

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Ally McBeal

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