Ally McBeal
Mr. Bo

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Dead can dance.

Mr. Bo is hauled into court on a stalking charge. Melanie shows up and tries to have the charges dropped. The judge tells her to hush. John shows up and drops the charges himself. Melanie is all happy. Whatever.

Ally barges into Richard's office and demands to see the firm's résumé. There's a big routine with keys and locks and alarms. Then Ally's handed the file and she reads, "Our lawyers have legs to stand on." I can't tell if that's supposed to be a sexual innuendo or what. Richard points out that he never interviewed Ally or looked at her résumé. He says he's still looking for her ability as a lawyer. He says that people hate lawyers and would rather feel screwed by beautiful female attorneys than plain old non-beautiful ones. Ally is shocked and disgusted. Richard tells her that she trades on her looks every day, and that's why she puts on makeup to come to work. She gasps and leaves. Whatever.

The Salsa Trumpets of Latino Stereotypes play as Sam Adams teaches Nelle to salsa. If she can salsa, he says, the twist will be easy. And he seems to think that she can salsa. Elaine eaves-watches and fumes. She goes to complain to Ally. "You people win at everything. I'm sick of you people," she says. She reminds us that she doesn't have a law degree and that she needs some way to feel like a winner at the firm and blah, blah, blah. Didn't we hear this speech in the Tina Turner dance contest episode? Why can't Elaine just go to community college classes if this is such an issue for her? Ally retorts that even though she has a degree, she was only hired because she was a babe. Elaine snorts derisively at this assertion. Then she tries to play it off and says that Ally is smart and educated. Elaine still wants to win the contest, though.

John shows up at Melanie's classroom at the end of the day. She's still pissy with him over what happened with Mr. Bo. John asks why he's so important to Melanie. "He's my father," she says. John tries to make the face that Luke Skywalker made when he found out that Darth Vader was his dad, but it's not really working. I realize that this show could use a little light-saber action. Either that, or John and Ally could get stuck in a big Death Star trash compactor.

Melanie talks about her father-related shame and embarrassment. Then she says her father's a nice person. He prefers to be homeless because it makes him less stressed and more peaceful -- or something. John wants to meet with Mr. Bo. Melanie warns that her father will want to wrestle John. John sighs. I sigh. How many more quirky bastards can they fit into this show?

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Ally McBeal

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