Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C | 948 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Christmas: Now More Than Ever

Aerial shot of Boston. I feel dizzy. Some punk band (U.S. Bombs? Me First and the Gimme Gimmes? I don't know) is doing a rendition of "Joy to the World." Good for them. And, thank G-d it isn't Vonda. See, there is a G-d! Yay! The Mayor of The Town That Cancelled Christmas is on the stand. People died in the fire that destroyed the Christmas factory, and they can barely afford to pay the school teachers, and he can't endorse the "wasteature" of the funds it would take to put on the Christmas dog, as it were. John objects to the word "wasteature." Not me. I love made-up words. It makes Scrabble so much fun! The judge sustains John's objection. The Mayor won't issue permits because six firemen died in the fire, and "now is not the time to be having parades!" It's "disrespectful" and "blatant inappropriatism." Hee! John is all, move to strike! The judge asks that the Mayor only use real words. Aww. John is all, what about the people "that need this holiday?" The Mayor says that, as a politician, he "has to look beyond what the public needs, sometimes." Yeah, politics is so not about the people, ever. So, the Mayor and his town won't observe Christmas this year, because they need time to mourn, and "out of common courtesyism." Hee.

Glenn and Elaine, still practicing in the bar. She's still rubbing herself all over him.

Ally's talking to Collar, saying it is odd for a Collar to tell his congregation that his faith is out the window, and that there is no G-d. Collar is all, have you ever had someone you love die, in your arms, at all, ever? Why yes -- Billy, in fact. Presumptuous much, Collar? And besides, think of your boy, the singing angel. He needs help too. Aww. Go, oboe, go!

Jenny stalks over to Elaine's desk. She's heard that Elaine is still coming on to Glenn, and raises her fists. Then, she pushes Elaine, as a "warning." Jenny? Elaine could stomp you and eat your bones in half a second. They shove each other back and forth for a bit, then raise fists to each other. John sees the mini-melee and tries to intervene. Jenny socks him in the jaw and he goes flying. Oh, right. John mightily loses his temper and is all, "Let's just fight! 'Tis the season, after all!"

Ally McBeal

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