Ally McBeal
One Hundred Tears

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Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
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One Hundred Yawns

Ally, Frank's sister, and the cop all watch as Frank spreads his wings on the rooftop. Frank's sister says, "Flap hard. Flap like the madman you are." The cop calls up, "How you doing there, sir?" Oh, kill me NOW. Frank says there's a saying he's blanking on. Is it, "This show sucks"? No, the cop says, "Now or never." Frank's sister begs the lord to "please let him land softly." Ally promises she'll "go to church." I promise I'll quit drinking if this show gets good. Frank starts to sing. He runs forward. He flaps. And flies. The closed captioning says, "triumphant orchestral music plays." He's totally flying. Then he gets over the river, and he gets a little low. "Distressed orchestral music" plays. It's close. There's an ambulance on the other side. Ally gasps. But he just makes it, touching down on the other side of the river and falling on his face. Then he gets up and cheers. "I flew! I flew!" Then he collapses, and the paramedics swarm. "Dischordant, percussive orchestral" music plays. It sounds a little like ER, but with more suck. Everything is slo-mo -- even the reaction shots of Ally.

Boston at night. Ally sits in her office. Frank's sister walks in. Frank had a heart attack. The cancer medicine weakened his heart. Services will be next week; she'll let Ally know. And thanks, Ally. Ally is all, I "helped to kill him." Frank's sister is all smiles: "Because of you, he got to fly!" Ally made him happier than anyone ever did. She'll never forget Ally "for giving him that moment. My brother flew! He flew!" Yeah, great, see you later. Ally goes, "Sorry for your loss," which could be a shout-out since they always say that on NYPD Blue. Vonda sings "A Hundred Tears." Ally sees a little girl in the window. Aerial shot of Boston at night. The end, thank god.

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Ally McBeal

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