We see Ling's face carping that you can't just barge into a person's office and arrest her. And you're a lawyer, Ling? Then we pull back and see that she's stylin' in her orange jumpsuit, behind bars. D'oh! The guard lets Richard and John into her cell. Rhubarb tells us that the toilets are hideous and she's "getting a bladder infection from holding it." Quick! Someone put her on Prozac! John glances at the toilet and is grossed-out. "Remnants..." he tells Richard. Richard neverminds him and starts yakking with Ling about her case. I can't go into detail because John is wearing a navy tie with larger-than-necessary white dots. Let's not mince words. They're polka dots. Nutshell: Ling has sold dates to twenty-one high-school boys. One of the boys was caught, by his mom, having sex with his "date." Ling claims that she was running a legitimate escort service for boys who can't get dates with their peers, not a prostitution ring. She makes eighty or ninety thousand dollars a year doing this. It's her hobby. John is disgusted. All right. That plot line's all set up. I'd like to point out to the staff of Ally McBeal that if you're going to put eyeliner several millimeters above a woman's natural lash line, then you shouldn't reveal this technique with a close-up.
Busy sidewalks, city sidewalks. Ally approaches the homeless guy with her hair blowing all over her face in that waifish way. Oh, Ally! You're just an adorable little freaking match girl, aren't you? The homeless dude isn't having any, though. Well, he will be having some later, but first he wants to play up the unresolved sexual predictability. "Ooh...I knew it. You're also a narcissist," he tells her. She doesn't say anything, but he knows what she wants, so he gives it to her. "You love your dad. You've always been distant from your mother. You probably went to law school to [mumble] become your dad but you're still turning out more like your cold mother." Ally blinks and hopes to catch a fly in her open mouth. The homeless guy says that his spiel has to be worth at least fifty cents. Silence from Time Mag's cover-girl-for-modern-feminism-NOT. The homeless guy says "Blah blah savant blah blah not that complicated." Ally says, "Take me now, you hot, dirty, hunk of man! I'm a woman like any other! I'll fall into your arms if you seem to pay the slightest attention to anything about me!" Oh, wait. Sorry. She says that instead of giving him money for coffee, she'll buy him a cup. But she says it in her cute little "I. Am. Talking. Like. A. Robot. To. Show. You. That. Even. Though. I. Want. To. Have. Sex. With. You, I'm. Still. A. Strong. Woman" voice. Gee. I wonder how this will play out. I'm so, so interested to know. This is fresh and original. I didn't just see this on Time of Your Life the other day. I want to buy David E. Kelley a cup of coffee.