Ally McBeal
Over The Rainbow

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Over The Rainbow

Don Knotts is working for Target. His juxtaposition with Britney Spears saddens and repulses me.

It's morning, people are boating, and Richard is upset that Georgia's suing the firm. The lawyers and Elaine are in the conference room fretting over Georgia's suit. John is pouting and wearing too much eyeliner. Richard asks whether the firm kissed Farrah Fawcett, Cloroxed its head, or pledged allegiance to "shmuckhood." Billy says this big sentence about Georgia behaving like a typical angry, weak, frustrated, embittered, man-hating woman. We see each of his female co-workers make little moués of mild disagreement or amusement. John reads Georgia's cause of action, which says that the firm was a sexual arena that interfered with marital relations. Nelle tsks and Ling says, "That's even too bogus for me!" Okay, what am I missing here? Is David E. Kelley being sued? For the third time already this episode, the "New Man In Town" vamp sounds while someone does a fist-into-palm punch. Y'all please give it a rest. Please. Everyone gets into the elevator. That is, Elaine tries, but Richard pushes her back into the office, his hand on her exposed chest. He makes an unwitticism about having money and always being sued.

All the lawyers troop down the hall into court. ["I really think that if an entire law firm were being sued, it would hire another firm to represent it." -- Wing Chun] Ally asks Richard whether he thinks it's a good idea to walk in with an army. He says it does. They stop when they see Georgia with "Tiny Tim." Billy stomps up and asks Georgia in his pissed-off voice what she's doing. Tiny Time jumps in for her and tells Billy to address his questions to him, Tim. Even though Georgia has had her blonde hair shorn, she is not the New Woman in Town because she only stands there with her teeth protruding worrisomely, like always. Billy leans in to give a message to his wife via Tim: "You're an embittered, angry, little, man-hating bitch." Georgia stands there like a kewpie doll until Tim says they should just go in. No one from Fish & Cage seems surprised by Billy's rudeness, vehemence, hostility, or general assholocity.

At this point I'd like to stop and talk about my expectations for this episode. I'm sure, from reading our fine bulletin boards here at MBTV, that I'm not the only viewer who was looking forward to watching Georgia exact revenge on Billy. We've watched her watch Billy as he enjoyed Ally's attentions, became a proud misogynist, bossed her around, belittled her, and humiliated her in front of her co-workers. We were led to believe, through the use of time-honored symbols such as the new hair-do and the brightly-colored garment, that Georgia was about to stand up for herself and show Billy where exactly to park his dorkmobile. We've sat through the offensive beginnings of the season. We're ready for the pay-off. So what do we get? We get the message, I guess. DEK lets us know that if we've hooted once on Georgia's behalf this year, it's because we're embittered, angry, little, man-hating bitches. Billy is smirking at us while John, Richard, Ling, Nelle, and Ally watch complacently. Should I start watching The Practice instead, now? Or does DEK make another program designed for the CGI-realized fantasies of embittered, angry, big, jerk-hating bitches like me? Well, there are still more than fifty minutes to go. Let's not be too hasty. Let's give David a chance.

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Ally McBeal




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