Ally McBeal
Over The Rainbow

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Over The Rainbow

Judge Norway says that assessing blame in marriage is a path down which the court is loath to go. He doesn't think the firm made it easier for Billy and Georgia to stay married, but this is a no-fault state, so he dismisses the suit without prejudice. Then he says -- oh, lord -- that if he's in the neighborhood and he has the urge to pee, he'll stop into Fish & Cage to use their Unisex. What the? Whatever! Mistrial! Everyone but John smiles. Ally stops Georgia and tells her in front of anyone, "Hey. You really were suing the firm. Well, Georgia, you left so suddenly. And don't you think that we feel the void, now that you're gone?" Georgia waits a beat, then says no. That's right, Ally. She doesn't think you did. She doesn't think you gave a rat's butt, and she's right. So step off my girl Georgia. Just get out and slurp up her sloppy seconds. "Well, then, we need to work on that," says Ally, who apparently can't get the message through her thick head. Billy jumps in with, "We can start with we're all going to dinner [sic]. Come with us." Georgia just snorts as if to say, "Give it up, losers." John tells her, "Please," nodding like Mr. Ed. Georgia shakes her head and says "That's okay" dismissingly. You go, Georgia! Stay graceful under the peer pressure! Keep your cool and dis the dogs. Ally breaks out the come-hither zombie eyes and says, "Georgia, you don't have to fight a lawsuit to spend time with us." WHATEVER! Shut the frick up, Ally! You are so vain and dysfunctional! AS IF Georgia would socialize with you people now! Georgia laughs. "Come to dinner," intones cult-leader Ally. So guess what Georgia says next. Heh. She totally, completely BUSTS Ally by saying -- check this out -- she says, "Okay."

What the? The hell? She said OKAY? What the HELL? Damn, this show sucks. The Branch-Fish-Cagians haul her away -- all but John and Richard. Richard mists up a bit as he tells John that his closing argument...ran a little long. Ha, ha. Then he says they do have something special, and John says "indeed." Yeah, indeed. You do indeed have a law firm full of rude, hateful people who can't seem to make friends with anyone outside its walls. That is special, if special were now next to "pathetic" in the thesaurus. If I'm ever in the neighborhood and find myself with the urge to pee, I'll chance uremic poisoning as I hurry home.

It's night, so we have to hear Vonda sing. She's singing "Over the Rainbow." Sheesh. The lawyers are McBealing down the sidewalk in a big gang, with Georgia at the fringe because no one really cares about her, after all. Then of course they have to morph into kids for the jillionth time. I would pause the tape and tell you what they look like or what they're wearing, but I can't because I'm too angry, embittered, and bitchy to care. I will say that Ally has mittens, though. I feel sorry for the girl who had to play her.

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Ally McBeal




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