Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 1204 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Gimme A Break! I Sure Deserve It!

Aerial shot of Boston at night morphs into aerial shot of Boston by day. Two shots, woo! Ally walks into the Uni with trepidation. She looks into the mirror, and is relieved to not see the reflection of the hallucination of the ice-skate boy. Then, he speaks: "Do you even remember?" She gasps and whirls around. Remember what? she asks. She doesn't remember. Richard walks in and asks what the matter is. Ally stammers like hell, and says she doesn't know. Ooh, I know. Is it that you're on a very lame television show?

Corretta and John head off to court, squabbling. She says, "Not everything can be as choreographed as a nose whistle." Are we supposed to care?

Richard is consoling Ally, who says "this might be [her] final breakdown." I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. He's asking about the hallucination of the skater-boy, and asks if that's why she "went crazy" at the bar last night with her wild dancing-type movements. Ally used to go skating, and "pretend [she] was in love." Richard says that the little boy is Ally, or the part of Ally that used to be little and believe in love. And she isn't letting that part of her stay alive insider her anymore. Ally says that's "far too profound" for Richard to have come up with. Richard says that he "was there when Billy died, and when Larry left." Ally is all, "The little boy is me? Uh." Worst. Episode. Ever.

Aerial shot of Boston. I think I've had enough. Nell Carter's on the stand. Corretta questions her. Could she fix Corretta up? Or, this woman? Or, this woman here in the back who looks like a man? Or, this random, redheaded woman in the tiger-striped top with the black leather jacket and skirt? Nell says she'll eat her license if she can't find that vixen a mate. Corretta asks for the vixen's name. "Kimmy. Bishop." So, what does that prove? Is this even court? Who's talking? John asks if Nell would like a little Jack cheese on her license. Nell stammers that Kimmy didn't look like that when she came to her! Corretta asks if anyone wants to meet the new, slutty Kimmy. Many hands are raised. Okay, is this a shout-out to Michelle Pfeiffer? Since she was in Grease II, and the slut makeover worked on Olivia Newton-John in Grease? I'm reaching, aren't I? ["That's no reach. There were Grease references all over Gwen's recap of Kimmy's last trial." -- Wing Chun]

Ally McBeal

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