Ally McBeal
Queen Bee

Episode Report Card
Gwen: F | Grade It Now!
Queen Bee...otch

Richard's office. John freaks out over Richard's toe-sucking episode. Sydney walks in wearing a clingy white dress and gives John the Reverbo hello. "Oh. Richey told you about my toe. Would you like to see it?" she asks John. I imagine her holding up a bandaged bunion for his perusal.

Conference room. Rev. Newman tells Nelle and Jackson that Lisa, his ex, uses his church's choir as a venue for singing hostile songs. The hostile songs are directed at Buttons, the minister's new girlfriend, who is also in the choir. He's afraid to fire Lisa because he thinks she'd sue him for sexual harassment. Whatever.

Courtroom. Some guy testifies that he and the other hundred or so men who worked for Sydney Gale lusted after her. Because this guy was about to be married, he requested that he no longer have contact with Ms. Gale. She fired him. John cross-examines, asking why this guy didn't simply leave the company if he was made so uncomfortable by all the lusting. John gets the guy to admit that he didn't want to leave Sydney nor leave off licking her forearm. Whatever.

Rev. Newman gives a rousing sermon about conquering violence with love. Lisa Knowles steps down from the choir's pews to begin canting the hymn. "Well, I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to see you with my man," she sings. The woman I presume to be Buttons looks uncomfortable while the rest of the choir sings back up. I guess she didn't make it to choir practice that week. She rallies quickly, however, stepping down to Lisa's dais and joining in the hymnal with, "Baby, I'm determined, and I'd rather see you dead." There's a battle of vocal adlibs. "You better run and hide!" sings Lisa. "Go get a life!" sings Buttons. The women finish the song and glare at each other horridly while the congregation cheers. Nelle and Jackson, who have been watching from a pew the whole time, furrow their faces.

In one of their offices, Richard and John watch a video about bees. John points out the queen. Richard asks whether the other bees are fornicating with her. John explains that they're working. The worker bees work, and the queen just gets her toe sucked, he says. At this point I'd like to thank lochia, one of the posters on our forum, for pointing out that worker bees are female. Thanks, lochia!

Lobby. Nelle explains to Rev. Newman that, since his congregation loved the dueling divas, he doesn't really have just cause for a case. Jackson suggests mediation between the women, and the Rev frets. Jackson tells him, "My specialty is smooth," adding that he can smooth things out. Nelle tells him, "Oh, please," but then ruins it by apologizing immediately afterward.

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Ally McBeal




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