Melanie tells John that she doesn't believe in marriage. John is surprised and unhappy. I don't care.
Ally sits on her bed and talks to Larry on the phone. She expresses affection for Sam and peevish jealousy of Jamie. "Ciao bella!" she tells him twice, with a really stupid accent, before hanging up. She opens her refrigerator, where she has saved the whole snowman from last week. I wondered if it was a hallucination, but didn't care enough to puzzle it out. Ally walks back to the living room and watches a translucent Barry Manilow sing for a while. Then Barry fades and his voice is replaced by Vonda's. Ally rocks herself in time with the gentle lullaby. Suddenly, a ten-foot-tall spider appears and drags her to its lair. Oh, sorry. That was my hallucination.
For the first of many times this evening, I see the cell-phone commercial featuring Terri Hatcher wearing orange. I'm sorry to see that she seems to have contracted an eating disorder. Some fashion trends just aren't flattering at all.
Here's the really stupid conversation that takes place between Jackson and Ling.
Jackson: Look, lady, if you've got some big scorn thing goin' on here...
Ling [scornfully]: Don't flatter yourself! I work up more scorn over a pimple.
Jackson: Well, you must have one now, because...
Ling: Yeah. Tiny -- the size of your integrity.
"Pimple the size of your integrity" -- you just know that's what the audience members will be yelling on Jerry Springer next season, right? Richard walks in and asks what's going on. Jackson -- unwisely, unprofessionally -- tells Richard that he and Ling had sex one night after meeting in a bar. Richard looks unhappily surprised. Ling introduces Richard as her boyfriend. Jackson feels dumb.
In another office, Ally is telling John to calm down. He doesn't want to. He yells "Balls!" twice. Ally does her tough-love routine, yelling back at John and defending Melanie's fear of marriage. Richard bursts into the room and says, "She slept with him," causing John to scream his girly scream. John assumes that Nelle slept with Jackson, but Richard explains that it was Ling. Richard is upset. He wants to beat Jackson up. "Who are you trying to kid, Richard? You couldn't even take Ling," says John. Richard jumps at John. Ally breaks them up and then hits Richard in the chest. She yells some stale advice at them. The men shake hands and she leaves. Ally and John are extremely annoying, and Richard is almost beginning to become annoying by association.